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Monday, December 22, 2014

#RelationshipStatus: New hope for a hopeless romantic

@JoshuaDolin

Do you consider yourself a “hopeless romantic”? Why? What does it actually mean?

It has been said that when one door closes, another one opens. But a few weeks after I stopped seeing Phillip, I couldn’t find a new door, and started to lose hope in the possibility of love this semester.

The concept of a lonely semester isn’t new to me, or most of my friends. Collette, Maggie, Aurora, Ashley and I have all been single for longer than we care to admit. Still, all of us have hope that with every semester, something could change.

In fact, things changed almost instantly for me. I was working at the wine festival in Bernalillo with Maggie a few weekends ago because it combines two of our great loves: men and wine.

Toward the end of the day, an attractive and potentially gay guy came in my line and I served him samples. I got a vibe from him, but he left after a few minutes and I didn’t think much of it.
No more than an hour later he came back and stood in my line again.

“Maggie! The hot gay guy is back in my line!” I whispered to her.
He made it to the front of the line again, which is precisely when I began flirting as much as possible. I hadn’t had a real boyfriend in months and I was not about to let this potential just walk away again. Sometimes in love we just have to stop waiting and take action.

After I poured him a few more samples of wine, I turned around to grab a new bottle and when I came back he was standing there and handed me a note.

We all know what it means when a hot guy is standing in front of us with a piece of paper — “Score!”

Sure enough he smiled and said, “This is for you,” and then walked away. I took the paper and stood there in shock. Did an attractive man just give me his number? I didn’t know that was even possible anymore.

His name was Tyler-Mason. That’s right, ladies. He has two first names. Which is one of the hottest assets a man can have. Am I right?

The rest of the day I could not stop smiling. Ever since my last serious relationship with Bradford I had spent every night lying awake and thinking about a future relationship, I just never thought it would happen. Could this be it? Is this my new door?

I texted him once I got home, because I obviously had to wait at least a few hours. Once we started talking I found out that he is 24, has a master’s degree in accounting, and works full time at Sandia National Laboratories. And wait for it: He is single and not monogamish! So in my mind I was checking everything off my list of qualities I wanted in a dream man.

We all have a list. I want an intelligent guy who works hard, cares for others, has career goals and only has interests for me.

It also doesn’t hurt that Tyler-Mason is very attractive.

“This is it,” I thought. “I have patiently waited the last six months for someone truly special and this is going to be my chance.” Tyler-Mason gave me his number, he is single and he is texting me first every day. This is exactly what a 21st century girl and gay boy’s dreams are made of.

Things could not be better for me this week. I spend all day talking to and thinking about Tyler-Mason. We all just have a special sparkle in our presence when cute guys text us, and that is something we will never outgrow.

“He is perfect. Tyler-Mason is everything that I have ever wanted,” I told Ashley and Alice over our weekly siblings brunch.
“Oh my God,” Ashley said. “For the first time in my life, I am not texting any boys. I am taking a break from them, and I love being free. You should try it.”

Alice was a little more supportive because she is in a relationship. “I hope it goes well for you. Being in a relationship is great,” she said.

Still, neither of them could believe that within one weekend I went from spending my nights drinking Chardonnay and complaining about men to doing nothing but talking about all the reasons Tyler-Mason is perfect.

I check my phone constantly and instantly smile when I see his name with a message. And of course I can’t help but imagine what a relationship with him would be like. We could carve pumpkins together, give each other Christmas presents and just maybe he could be the man to bring me pumpkin spice lattes at work. Yes, I am ridiculous, but none of us can help feeling this way when things seem to be going well with a guy.

The next step is to meet each other for a date. We agreed to meet at Elephant Bar on Saturday for dinner and drinks. Another important thing to note — Tyler-Mason drinks whiskey. Say it with me ladies — “That’s hot.”

Just like our texting all week, dinner went perfectly. Tyler-Mason was funny, charming, intelligent and our conversation was effortless and enjoyable. This was by far the best date I had ever been on.

After dinner we walked around Uptown for a while and sat and talked about our plans for the future and our likes/dislikes.

My entire time with Tyler-Mason has been something I had only dreamed about since I learned that there were no confirmed gay members of One Direction.

If you made it this far through my column and don’t hate me for being lovesick or obsessed, thank you. Not all of my friends could handle me and my constant conversation about Tyler-Mason this week.

“Well good for you, but I’m over men,” Collette told me. She is looking for the same qualities in men that I am, except she wants heterosexuals. “I have been single for over a year now, so I have just decided that it isn’t going to happen.”

Prior to Tyler-Mason I had given up as well, which is why it was very important to try to make this work. “I will never find a man this perfect again. I can’t mess it up!” I told her.

The rest of my friends all agreed he has strong potential once I sent them pictures. I have known Tyler-Mason for only 10 days now, but he has made me see the rest of my time in Albuquerque in a brand new way. Or in a sense, given me new hope.

This week boys have made Collette give up hope on love, made Ashley like no longer having hope for love and made me feel closer to it again.

Everyone wants to be loved. We want to give our love to someone and we want to receive it. I have spent the last six months looking everywhere for love, failing to make love work and subsequently becoming a connoisseur of chocolate and boxed wine.

This is my time, though. Just like the Disney fairy tales that I watch with Maggie every week, Tyler-Mason could be my Prince Charming. He was attractive, successful, fun to be around and available.

I have had many relationship doors close, but I now have hope that this one will open for me.

Some people like to describe themselves as a “hopeless romantics,” because they are hopelessly in love with love. They are the sentimentalists and the dreamers, and the ones, such as Maggie and I, who relate their lives to romantic comedies on a daily basis.

They are the ones who want love more than anything else, and I am proud to be one of them. I am a hopeless romantic and Tyler-Mason is my new hope.

There is only one problem. I last sent him a text three days ago — I have yet to get a response. Why hasn’t he texted me back yet?

Could it be possible that this hope will be gone already? If he doesn’t respond soon, am I going to always be #HopelesslyHopeful?

Current Relationship Statuses:

Josh: Hoping Tyler-Mason texts back
Ashley: Hoping no boys text her
Aurora: Hoping she does well on the LSAT
Collette: Hoping for a guy to change her mind about love
Alice: Hoping she stays in love
Maggie: Hoping Netflix has new movies this week

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