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Saturday, December 20, 2014

#Relationship status: The Finale: April showers bring May flowers

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@Joshua Dolin

Love. It’s something that we all want, but sometimes cannot find.

I have spent the past year filling the Daily Lobo with stories about my search for love, my failure to find it and subsequent nights spent with boxed wine and friends.

I used to think that love was a fairy tale. I thought I had already found my Prince Charming and my happily ever after was already written.

It turns out however, love can also be a bitch.

Love is not something you can just find; it’s a journey. It’s a drunk night at Monte Vista looking for men, a night spent dancing with the hottest guy at Effex and a semester spent swiping right on Tinder hoping for a match.

After today, my friends and I will continue searching for our true love, but no longer at UNM.

Aurora is starting law school in Colorado. She knows exactly what she wants in a man and isn’t afraid to wait for it.

“Keeping the upper hand is most important to me in dating,” Aurora said. “But I want to start letting my guard down and taking more risks.”

Collette is starting a new job in Seattle. She turned down Patrick’s two-week marriage proposal and is hoping she can find a man who won’t mind her being the CEO in the relationship.

“Honestly, I enjoy being by myself,” she said. “It would be great to find a guy, but I am in no hurry.”

Alice is staying in Florida. Bill is moving to be with her, and they are happy together after a year and a half of dating.

“Love is hard,” she said. “There is always a chance you are going to get hurt, but if you really love someone you will risk everything for them.”

Ashley is moving to Florida. Eric asked to have a long-distance relationship with her, but she declined and is moving on.

“I don’t think I have ever been in love,” she said. “I have been close, but love can be deceiving. Love is a game and the only way to win is to not play.”

Maggie is staying in Albuquerque. She has not had the best luck with men, but I know that she is going to make one guy so happy someday with her wit, charm and energy.

“I know why I’m alone,” she said. “It’s because I spend so much time with Netflix. The problem is that I just haven’t changed anything to meet someone.”

And me? I’m moving to Dallas for a job. I have had fun with boys, but I am ready for a real relationship. I want to give myself to someone else and build a life with them. That probably won’t happen from Tinder, but I’m determined to find someone who makes me completely happy and gives me my dream come true.

And someone has to gay-up Texas anyway.

Aside from humoring everyone this year with my relationship statuses, I wanted to prove something very important — love is love.

I have met fans of my column, men and women, gay and straight and they tell me that my column speaks to them and their relationship problems.

Whether you are hoarding items from your past lovers, stalking a secret crush on campus, waiting for a cute boy to text you back, sexting an ex-boyfriend or worried about having sex, it’s something we all experience no matter who we date.

It doesn’t matter who you are, or what your relationship status is, we are all searching for the same great love. And love is something that connects us all.

Countless others have found love, but I am nowhere near the finish line.

I spent the year trying to understand why I couldn’t find a man who loves me, and I still don’t know. But that hasn’t stopped my friends and I from trying. We all dream of our futures with husbands, families and the strongest love imaginable. Our hope is that after spending some time in our April showers of dating and loneliness, we will find our dream man in the May flowers.

Whether you have read every single one of my columns, or just one, I want to give you my sincerest thanks. This column has been an unbelievable experience to write and share with all of you, and your responses have been incredible.

Sometimes my stories were embarrassing, and sometimes I felt pathetic, but the most important thing for me was to be honest and prove that no one is alone in their experiences.

When I first started writing this column, I did not want it on the opinion page. As I said to my editor, “You want my opinion about love? It sucks.”

But I have learned love isn’t an opinion that we have, it’s a commitment we give to someone else and a feeling of self-worth we receive from someone else.

My column is about the “modern search for love,” and that is exactly what my friends and I experienced this year at UNM.

My first column was about the importance of making a relationship “Facebook official” by changing your relationship status. Since then I have been trying to understand more about what it is like to date in our modern atmosphere, and there is still so much I don’t know.

A lot of people have asked me this year why I am not in a relationship, and to be honest, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because I refuse to settle or maybe it’s because I try too hard to make it happen. But most likely, it’s because I’m crazy. Either way, I do have faith that when I find someone, they are going to be worth the wait.

After ending a serious relationship, I spent the entire year looking for ways to move on. What I didn’t realize however, was that I needed to build a strong relationship with myself first.

So as I move away and search for love in every place possible, I would like to invite you all to join me. I guarantee that the ridiculousness, hilarity and of course drama, will continue throughout my search for love.

To follow along with my updates, like the official #RelationshipStatus Facebook page where I will post weekly blog updates about love, romance and sexting.

Love is truly the most important thing we can hope to achieve in our lifetime. Love makes you happy, inspires you and fulfills your needs.

If you have found love, keep it as close to you as possible. And if you haven’t, just look forward to your May flowers. I used to ask myself questions every week about what love meant and how relationships with men worked. But I have learned many important lessons this year, and I do not need to leave you with a question. Instead, I want to leave you all with this advice:

Men will come and go during your search for love, so just remember that loving yourself for exactly who you are will always be the most important #RelationshipStatus.

If you follow blogs, please follow mine: RelationshipStatus.blogspot.com..

Current Relationship Statuses:
Josh: Ready for love in Dallas
Ashley: Looking for a husband
Alice: Expecting the best to come with Bill
Collette: Strong, independent and fierce
Aurora: Will always love dogs… and maybe men
Maggie: Ready for a steady relationship, and not with Netflix

Like reading #RelationshipStatus? Make it Facebook official- Facebook.com/RelationshipStatusUNM

Follow the official blog-
RelationshipStatus.blogspot.com