Editor,
Millions of men, including many who love their wives and girlfriends, are terrified of having family and friends find out that they want sex with men.
Some try to smother their desire with religion. Some yell “faggot” at gays. Some curse and bully gays. Some kill themselves with booze or a bullet. Some, like Omar Mateen in Florida, murder LGBT persons.
Five years ago, a longtime dear friend told me he wanted sex with me for the first time, but not a relationship. He said if I told anyone, he would kill me and maybe kill himself. I did not have sex with him.
I want to celebrate sex with a friend, not hide it as a poison secret to keep him from killing me and himself. As he left my home that day, he told me “I love you,” maybe the only time since I met him 39 years before.
The next day he was dead from a violent attack on the street. I was devastated! I deeply loved him!
A gay Anglo told me that a married Chicano had picked a fight with him. Later they were both at the same party. As the night wore on, they got it on — not with fists, but in sex. The married Chicano went home to his wife, then returned to the gay Anglo for more sex.
The gay Anglo asked him, “If you had these feelings for me, why did you pick a fight with me?” The married Chicano answered honestly: “I could not let my friends know.”
If I am sexually attracted to a man with a wife or girlfriend and if he is sexually attracted to me, I hesitate to have sex with him. I do not want him lying to her and getting in fights with her because of me, if she does not know about and accept his bisexuality.
Many married men feel they have the right to have sex with other women or men, but they demand their wives to have sex with no other men or women under the threat of divorce or violence.
I want any bisexual man I have sex with to be honest and fair with his wife or girlfriend. No lies! No double standards!
Don Schrader
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