New Mexico Daily Lobo
URL: http://www.dailylobo.com/index.php/article/2010/03/he_always_had_a_smile_for_me
Current Date: Tue, 22 May 2012 19:16:11 -0600
Gail Houston, chair of the English department chokes back tears when talking about her colleague, Hector Torres. Torres was killed along with his girlfriend Stephania Gray, a graduate student, in his home on Sunday.
Friends of Hector Torres left candles and other items at a memorial on his front porch on Santa Monica Avenue.
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'He always had a smile for me'
The UNM community is mourning the loss of two colleagues, professor Hector Torres and graduate student Stefania Gray, who were found murdered at a residence near campus on Monday.
The two were considering getting married, according to friend Travis Parkin.
Torres worked as a faculty member at UNM since 1986. His humor and smile made Torres a popular figure within the department, said Gail Houston, chairwoman of the English department who had an office across from Torres for six years.
“He always had a smile for me. He was always there to listen,” Houston said. “Either he was working away on his computer, on his books or articles or he always had students. He was so brilliant, and they wanted to get everything out of him they could.”
In a news release, President David Schmidly and Provost Suzanne Ortega said, “Professor Hector Torres will be remembered as a scholar of great passion, dedication and kindness. Graduate student Stefania Gray was a scholar of great promise. Both were wonderful individuals and we join their families and many friends in great sadness.”
GPSA President Lissa Knudsen offered a statement giving condolences on behalf of the graduate student governing body.
“Stefania’s passage is a loss to the entire graduate student community at UNM,” Knudsen said. “I am deeply saddened by this act of senseless violence. Our organization is here to support all of our members as they cope with this tragedy, especially those in the foreign languages and literatures department.”
Torres, who taught courses in Chicana and Chicano literature, was a passionate deconstructionist and gave instruction on writing about film. However, his most dominant feature was the upbeat personality he brought to his profession.
“My last memories of him were seeing him smile,” Houston said. “We were at a faculty meeting, and he had to leave early and I was making a joke with him asking if he was mad at me, and he turned that brilliant smile to me as he was leaving.”
Houston said she would like to memorialize Torres with a scholarship and a moment of silence at this year’s graduation ceremony.
“Hector was many-sided; he knew people in very different ways and had strong relationships with people in many different sectors,” she said. “You didn’t feel judged when you were with him.”
Every Tuesday and Thursday for four years, Paul Ingles played basketball with Torres. Ingles said when he walked onto Johnson Center court Tuesday for a bi-weekly basketball game, he was the last player on the court to hear the tragic news.
“Some guys were not sure if we should play or not,” Ingles said. “But we felt Hector would have wanted us to continue playing.”
Torres was known on the basketball court for his rainbow jump shot and a wild hook shot that he would hit frequently.
“I judge people on how they play the game. He would never complain on the court,” Ingles said. “He was always gracious. When you passed him the ball, he made the shot.”
Parkin was a neighbor who would share a shot of tequila at the end of each work week with Torres. The two would talk about their plans for the weekend and bonded over conversations about life while laughing at each other’s jokes.
“Hector loved Tex-Mex music,” Parkins said. “On my KUNM radio show on Thursday, I’m going to close out the show by playing his favorite song, ‘Adis Muchachos’ by Los Panchos.”
Gray was a graduate student of comparative literature in the department of foreign languages and literatures and taught ninth grade English at Bernalillo High School. She was preparing to defend her thesis, “Dreams of Andalusia: Women, Gender, Memory and Nation,” after spring break.
She received her bachelor’s in Spanish and Portuguese and began working on her master’s thesis this semester while working full time.
Her assistant professor, Raji Vallury, who will read Gray’s thesis, remembers her as “vibrant, beautiful, and strong.”
Natasha Kolchevska, the foreign languages and literature chair, said her department is considering rewarding Gray her master’s degree posthumously. They also plan to bind a copy of her thesis and give it to her family. They also plan to post information about Gray on the department’s Web site, where friends and colleagues can leave comments.
“My faculty that worked with her thought highly of her. She struck me as a very warm, wise and motivated woman,” Kolchevska said.
Students and staff are preparing for memorials — some private, others open to the public.
Houston is trying to find light in this dark situation.
“Somebody told me Hector sent them a little note in Spanish that said, ‘There is nothing so awful that you can’t find good in it,’” she said. “That’s what he would be saying right now.”
APD released Torres’ and Gray’s names midday Tuesday.
Ralph Montoya, 37, is being charged with two counts of murder in connection with the couple’s death. He turned himself in Monday.



28 comments
Smiley
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Thank you Shaun and the Daily Lobo for this wonderful article about professor Torres and Stefania Gray.
Christine
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Thank you for the kind words. Thank you for keeping this article about Hector and Stefania. My uncle was a brilliant and tender man. My hope is that when people remember him the memories will be of his fabulous smile, his willingness to listen, and his absolutely brilliant mind.
This is such a loss to anyone that has ever or who might have crossed his path.
reader
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Indeed. A nice article about a very very tragic loss.
But why can’t the Daily Lobo staff photographer, in this case Sean Gordon, take a decent photograph? How hard can it be to get a shot of someone (i.e. Gail Houston) with their eyes open? It’s not like the subject was moving around. And I assume Sean was using a digital camera so it is not a question of wasting money on multiple exposures.
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The Daily Lobo has to have the WORST photographers around. Every other shot in the paper is poorly framed or catches the subject in some awkward pose or with their eyes shut.
Please, please get some competent photographers on your staff. This is not the first time I have seen a lousy picture in the paper. It really demeans the subject. And you have no excuses with digital cameras. Get it right Lobo or run the story without the photo. Or better yet move Sean Gordon someplace else where he can’t embarrass himself or the Lobo.
cathy
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This is a wonderful description of a wonderful man I was lucky enough to call my uncle. Our hearts are broken, but it helps to hear how much he was loved.
Nathalie
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‘No hay mal que por bien no venga’, this was the note in Spanish Hector sent to his/her friend.
But frankly, it’s difficult to see any good or the light out of this dark tunnel of pain and sorrow.
All our love, thoughts and memories to Hector’s and Stefanía’s families from Europe.
I owe Hector a lot, and we all miss him very, very much.
I didn’t have the chance to know Estefanía, but from here, Andalusia, the subject of her thesis, we will honor her memory.
C
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This is such a tragedy. Stefania was a smart and kind woman. A wonderful person to have known. My heart goes out to her colleagues and family. I am grateful to have had her as a classmate.
Mick from Omaha
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I feel that the “Reader” should be more concerned about what happened to two of the university’s “family” members verses the photography for the story. Mr. Torres was my son’s adviser and friend. My thoughts and prayers go out to both families and the university for this terrible tragedy.
Martin Engman
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I knew Hector when I was a grad student and, subsequently, part-time instructor of mathematics from 86-96. At the time he was working on Linguistics and he and I would discuss the mathematical/logical structure of languages over coffee at the SUB or outside the Humanities building. This illustrates how broad-minded and multi-talented this great man was. He embraced knowledge of all kinds, in any scholarly area, and sought (always in a positive, fun, and extremely enthusiastic way) the connections between apparently distinct philosophies. This is a horrific and unbearable loss.
Vaya con dios, Hector.
Don Reese
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Hector was a terrific friend who always treated me as a colleague when I was a graduate student at UNM. How terribly sad for such a kind and thoughtful man to die this way.
Bernardo Gallegos
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I will miss Hector! He was one of my closest freinds. It is not often that one comes accross a person with the combination of intellectual passion, great sense of humor, and worldliness that he possessed. I will treasure all of the moments, arguments, good times, and overall commeraderie that we shared. I am fortunate to have a voicemail that Hector left me a few days ago talking about our freindship. He was so incredibally happy with the new relationship he had developed with Stefania, and I was going to meet her soon. I am in total disbelief about these seemingly surreal turn of events!
Kathy McCully
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These two deaths come as a double blow for me, who knew them both in passing as a long time student at UNM. I helped Hector with some of his research on his last book, “Conversations with Contemporary Chicana and Chicano Writers” as a student employee at the library and he was always grateful for my help. Whenever I came over to Hector’s office, he always like to talk about his research and other ideas he had for the future.
I knew Stefania through an undergraduate program here at UNM when we went to present our research at North Texas University in Denton, TX. She was very worried over her daughters and concerned for their welfare. I hope that we, the UNM community and greater Albuquerque community, can honor their names with the suggested scholarship in honor of both of their memories and help others live better lives. Hector, Stefania, you will be missed.
Kathy mcCully
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Is there something we can do to change the laws here in New Mexico about stalking someone? Ralph Montoya was a serial stalker and needed to be stopped way before it led to this tragedy. Unfortunately, the only thing that Stefania could do was to file a restraining order, which obviously did not work. I also know of several other women right now, who are students at UNM who are being stalked and I have known of other tragedies in the past that have occurred here in New Mexico because of poor laws protecting the victim.
This horrible attitude of stalking in New Mexico needs to stop right now!
Santhosh
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It is really sad that Hector and Stephania are not with us anymore. Hector was a nice man with a brilliant mind. I will miss him. Hector and Stephania, RIP.
Rosalie
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I personally never knew Professor Torres but my boyfriend took several courses from him at UNM. He would always come home after school and talk about what a brilliant and insightful professor he was. Professor Torres had even asked my boyfriend if he could attend his graduation this May. When I heard the news I was shocked and I immediately called my boyfriend to tell him about the tragedy. Words can never express the sadness and overwhelming emotions when two intelligent people are taken away from this world by an unstable erratic person. My heart and prayers goes out to both Hector and Stephania.
Sonya
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I will miss my uncle tremendously – our wonderful conversations about so many books we’ve read and enjoyed, thinking about works that were on our “To Read” (or “To re-read” lists, ideas that were floating around in our minds on our mental “To Write” lists, story ideas I was thinking of writing, his thoughtful suggestions of books I should read . . . laughing about funny things that happened to us through the years, smiling about fun times, watching movies together, spending time together at my grandparents’ house. So many things – they ended too soon, too horribly.
This tragedy is definitely hard for us. All I can say is “saudade, Uncle. You are missed, loved, and remembered fondly.”
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I can only offer sorrow and empathy for Stefania’s family and friends for their terrible loss. I’m sure it is as painful as my own family’s loss of Hector.
I agree with my cousins – it is good to see so many friends, students, acquaintances who miss the loss of our uncle. No, it doesn’t take away the pain, but it is good to know so many people appreciated him.
My prayers to Stefania’s family and friends – may they begin healing from this incomprehensible sorrow.
juliea Benzaquen
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Yes, that smile was life giving. I will remember Mr. Torres as a wonderful, kind, funny, caring person and professor. I am so sad for our loss..He will be missed by all of his students!
Gloria Larrieu
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I’ll never forget Hector. He was my prof for two classes in grad school at UNM and definitely a brilliant, loving, and humorous man. Bless him and Ms. Gray, as well as their families and friends. This is so sad and tragic.
Teclo Bolano, San Francisco, CA
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I am, God, so appalled at this tragic, tragic loss of two such vibrant figures on campus. Never having been on campus myself (being self-educated, though well- read and a deep, keen thinker), I am doubly afflicted by this Pan-Latin, intranational nightmare. ?No hay mal que por bien no venga? Peut etre, but this surely pushes that envelope. I am imagining the sweet, sere campuscape of UNM, still in the balmy rising light of early dawn with this fine young couple, gliding arm-in-arm, pencil-dark in heavy shadow, blossoms sweet on the vestigial breeze off the mesa- they are, perhaps, going for coffee and chorizo at the local funky breakfast cafe of bohemian repute- the one where the china is chipped and unmatched, the coffe strong, the waitresses hirsute and sly. And…lo! They are not there. The hours have lengthened, the manicured gardens untrammelled now by those beloved shadowforms… Burn in whatever pagan hell begot you Ralph Montoya, 37!!!!!! Where is YOUR tearful portait, sir? At long last- where is YOUR tearful portrait????
Iain Thomson
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I’ve lost a kind friend and intellectual comrade, and UNM has lost one of its finest teachers and most generous citizens. Hector’s amazing smile will never be forgotten, but there is a hole in all out hearts, a hole only that smile could fill. And there is a hole in the experience of all those who have been deprived of the joy and wisdom he would have brought, which now they will never know. This is not right, and it’s very hard to find any good in it (as I try hard, in memory of his noble example, to do). Perhaps, perhaps, the tragic but important reminder that we are all much more vulnerable than we like to imagine, and thus that we need to care for each other, as he cared for us all. But that can hardly blunt the pain of those who have lost so much that can never be replaced. To the families of Hector and Stefania (who sadly I did not know), my deepest condolences.
rosiehazz
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Dennis DeLoach
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I’m sorry to hear about Hector. I hadn’t seen him since high school in 72. He was always good to be around, and always had a smile. I’m glad he was having a good life,sad to see it end this way.
Teclo Bolano, San Francisco, CA
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Up a good portion of the night. In agonized meditation- no, not so volitional as meditation; call it, then, the kinnd of deep refractory, psychic play of prismatic shadow and light, as might reflect from a multifoliate crystal set to spinning wildly in one’s mind’s eye. That this befalls us in the nacreous new-hatched Spring, season of kyrie’s and all manner of risen lambs… it is an agony to me. I feel as though I might safely share- if only in this Forum- that I did indeed weep last night; a single wracking and forlorn sob, quickly choked down, damning evidence of the grief that dare not speak itself before the world at large. I fear that I would drown! So the pendulum swings to Anger- respiration racing, the blood coursing to my limbs and earlobes- the phantasmal likeness of the villain Montoya, 37, swarming in and out of focus before the locus of my soul-numbing craving for Justice! Justice! Justice! How is it served where you come from Montoya? Would that our Native Peoples were at large in that land of sun-scored interstices of rage and righteousness have bored channels for the blood of despoilers. Take note Montoya! Our beloved Brother and Sister-in-law will not pass from this earth without the honor born of Vengeance! Justice shall be done!! Godspeed you jurists of the Mesa! Hail!
Rijasoa Andriamanana
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I can’t believe that Stepania was killed!!! It is like a nightmare to me until I read this article. I miss her, but I will remember her forever.
Hoity Toity
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Am I the only one who finds it appalling that graduate students and professors are free to engage in sexual relationships?? Why is this permitted?
G
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Dude… the issue here isn’t about their relationship. She wasn’t his student and they were both from different departments. He was 54, she was 43. They’re adults. I see absolutely no problem with it. Be happy they found love.
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