Shady Back alleys of the Internet found by entering Two or More Unrelated Words into Google.
Entry: "Spam Haiku."
If Al Gore really invented the Internet, one would be forced to assume that he is a sex-starved porn-addict and someone who entertains an unhealthy fixation on SPAM. No, not the annoying stuff you receive in your e-mail inbox everyday, but the canned "pork product" of suspicious composition.
If you find yourself with a couple of hours type "SPAM haiku" into any search engine. Google yields about 10,800 pages devoted to the postmodern, cross-cultural marriage of the ancient Japanese poetic form and the aforementioned canned "meat" product.
SPAM.
You may be asking why there is such praise for this barely-digestible edible. The reasons, perhaps, are historical. Nikita Krushchev once credited SPAM with the survival of the Russian army in World War II. One may venture to say that without this common abomination of grocery shelves, Hitler may have succeeded on the eastern front.
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Perhaps you may not enjoy defiling your system with this monstrosity, but there are cold numbers behind the popularity of this product. For example, if all the cans of SPAM ever eaten were put end-to-end, they would circle the globe at least ten times. In fact, SPAM use has grown exponentially in tandem with our population.
By 1959, a billion cans of SPAM had been sold. The two-billion mark was hit in 1970, followed by three-billion in 1980, four-billion in 1986 and five-billion in 1993.
One could postulate that the popularity of this long-lasting meat comes from the fact that it is an excellent source of protein that requires no refrigeration. This can be quite practical in many developing nations.
Still, even in our industrialized society with plenty of privately-owned refrigerators, 3.8 cans of SPAM are consumed every second. That is assuming SPAM is eaten 24 hours a day, 365.25 days a year.
But why are there 10,800 pages on SPAM haiku or Spam-ku?
Haiku.
Haiku poetry flourished more in Matsuyama than in any other fief during the Edo Period that lasted from 1603 to 1868.
Japan's modern haiku -- 17-syllable poetry -- originated in Matsuyama mainly through the effort of Masaoka Shiki. After various attempts in politics, philosophy, art and fiction writing, he found his mission in haiku. Like kanshi or Chinese poetry, haiku is a fixed-verse form and a familiar genre to most people.
Plunging himself into an environment where none of the elite scholars of his day paid any attention to haiku, he attempted to gain the blessing of the gods of literature by synthesizing the past achievements of haiku and modernizing it with a scientific approach. Though it is now popular in Japan, it is probably safe to say Shiki never ate, or even entertained the idea of SPAM. His lack of verses on food indicate that perhaps Shiki would find the very idea appalling.
Other serious Haiku scholars would find the idea of the Spam-ku impossible. R.H. Blyth, who identified haiku with Zen, characterized the state of mind necessary for writing and appreciating haiku as having 13 elements -- selflessness, loneliness, grateful acceptance, wordlessness, non-intellectuality, contradiction, humor, freedom, non-morality, simplicity, materiality, love and courage. How could anyone group these emotions into the seemingly ridiculous idea of SPAM?
Spam-ku.
People have found a way. At http://pemtropics.mit.edu/~jcho/spam/, one can find an archive of Spam-ku consisting of over 19,000 entries by thousands of contributing authors. To navigate this immense archive you may go by date submitted, reader's choice out of the first 1,000 entries, second 1,000 entries and so on, or by arbitrary related subjects.
SPAM, unfortunately, is only a single syllable existing in a vast 17-syllable universe so other subjects are pinned on as well. These subjects include addiction, cannibalism, childhood trauma, ingredients, jazz, literature, news bites, poverty, puns, religion, sex and versatility.
These verses of varied authorship range in quality from the awful to the sublime. "Soylent Green" is mentioned in about 90 percent of the cannibalism-Spam-kus, and the sex-Spam-kus include elements that the Daily Lobo would be very uncomfortable printing. To fill a numb couple of hours when you should be working on your thesis or bringing your apartment to 20th century hygiene levels, a visit to this Web site or www.spam.com will bring a subtle enlightenment into your daily activities.
