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Editorial: America: keeping nothing safe at all

I feel safe.

I feel really, really safe.

In fact, I feel so safe that the thought of walking down the street at night makes me shudder because I'm leaving myself open to attack or rape. I feel so safe that every time I open the newspaper, I'm reading about children killing adults. I feel so safe that I have to watch my drink at college parties to make sure some jerk doesn't slip me a date rape drug.

I feel so safe that I got to sit in class my senior year of high school and hear my principal lament the death of all those students and teachers the day after Columbine. I feel so safe that two snipers loose for more than a month in the Maryland-D.C. area doesn't bother me at all. I feel so safe that when I see homeless people who were former Vietnam veterans or people who need psychiatric help, that I walk the other way knowing that my government helped put these people out on the streets back in the 1960s.

And I feel absolutely, positively safe that we're making this country safe from terrorism everywhere so I know that it's entirely justified that the federal government is spending billions and billions of dollars on defense, plunging us into a budget deficit that is making us cut funding for schools so that there need not be any "tax hikes."

I also feel very safe from Saddam Hussein and his evil now. So I need not worry about North Korea, which has a functional nuclear weapon that can reach the western United States and North Korean officials have stated that they won't hesitate to use it. Meanwhile, I feel incredibly safe from all the weapons of mass destruction that the United States has yet to truly unearth in Iraq.

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Safety. It's what the United States specializes in. So just keep this slogan in mind: America - Keeping the world safe from terrorism . . . I mean, communism . . . I mean, keeping the world safe for democracy.

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