The jig is up for singers everywhere.
Software designers at Zero G think they have us figured out - they think they've distilled the essence of a human voice into a totally synthesized "soul" singer, according to the Web site. Vocaloid, a new program designed to simulate singers, was released by Yamaha worldwide Tuesday.
With Vocaloid, songwriters or producers can feed lyrics and music into their computers and have them sung back by a digital singer who would still, theoretically, be better than J-Lo.
Vocaloid brings us Leon, Lola and soon, Miriam, all of which are computer programs that can sing. The scary thing is the available MP3s don't sound all that bad, and this is just the first version of what will surely be a growing field.
As a singer, my first reaction was outrage, snooty as that may be. "The Human Voice. It's still the most expressive instrument in the world," begins the Web site's news release. And that, right there, is where the insult begins. It seems the advertisers respect the delicacy and emotive value of a human singer, but the programmers don't.
But maybe I don't really have a reason to feel threatened. It's not really that far of a jump from the plastic, calculated mystique of Britney Spears to the even-more-controllable Vocaloid Miriam.
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Vocaloid is the perfect pop star. It doesn't ever have unsightly artistic inspiration of its own, won't make career-ruining decisions to change its image and it will never break up its band by claiming artistic differences. It is also unlikely to develop a serious drug problem that will eventually turn it into a shadow of its former Vocaloid self.
It probably costs less, too - not that your average local singer makes tons of dinero anyway. The docile Miriam is definitely not going to drag her record company through a messy public court case over an unscrupulous contract either.
But then again, drum machines have been around for ages, and there's no shortage of necessity for a live drummer. Let's hope digital singers will carry the same stigma. If they don't, I might be out of a job.
I know I'm joining the ranks of stodgy old people when I say this, but certain activities should be done the good ol' fashioned way.
It might be cheaper and faster to let some robot program with a human name replace musicians, but there's no way it could ever be as subtle, as flexible or as effective a communicator. You just can't bottle some things.
Don't tell me vocaloid Lola can belt it out like Aretha Franklin or drag it through the gravel like Janis Joplin. And I doubt the synthetic Leon oozes sensuality the way Al Green can or will send waves of slick vibrato over a Vegas audience like rank Sinatra.
Singing is possibly the oldest form of music known to man, and regardless of how good a programmer you are, you can't take thousands of years of fine-tuned craftsmanship and stick it inside a machine.
