"Dog the Bounty Hunter" is a good show, but more importantly, it may be the new gospel for today's world.
Hawaii's first foul-mouthed, ass-kicking-for-the-Lord, mesh-T-shirt-wearing saint has a forum, and this guy is big news.
The show airs on A&E on Tuesdays at 9 p.m. and focuses on legendary bounty hunter Duane Chapman, or "Dog," and his mulleted, patriarchal family.
Together, family members collectively run a pseudo-religious bounty hunter business. Dog has more kids than a singing mountain family and gives the word of the Lord to the court jumpers he seizes - after he settles 'em down with an elbow or two.
Preachin' through cuffs and mace, Dog proclaims in the show's opening that he is, "a lawman on a mission from God to get the bad guys."
Then he gets back to working out.
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A devoted family man who often thinks of his children before he kicks in the door, Dog teaches good morals and reinterprets old religious notions through his work in a manner more accessible to the modern viewer.
In one episode, he said, "If you keep pretending to be good, eventually you will just become good." Indeed.
As the show progresses, viewers learn valuable lessons from Dog and begin to identify with him. Because like most of us, Dog paid his dues as a Sergeant of Arms for a brutal motorcycle gang and, like many of the girls I've dated, he was accused of murder and served time in Sacramento compliments of the California penal system. But he still qualifies for sainthood because it was under three years.
It's a prime-time treatise on how to be a good person and a responsible adult. After you mace - or taser - a criminal and get them into the van, it's only human to give them a cigarette, a sermon and a little father-con comforting before they are thrown into the cell. It's the little things we all promise to do, but forget when the time comes.
See it, love it, and, as the disclaimer warns, don't try it at home unless you've got a felon in the family and love in your heart.
