Finally a show honestly asks, "If your male self saw your female self walking down the street, would you think you were hot?"
It proceeds to answer - as we all would - "No, but I would sleep with me anyway."
"He's a Lady," airing Tuesday nights on TBS, is about a group of overly masculine, knuckle-dragging, guys' guys under the false pretense of being dubbed America's first "Manliest Man." In reality, they are competing in a four-week-long drag competition for a quarter of a million dollars to live as a man and compete as a lady.
As you can imagine, those with more body hair paid dearly.
"Don't come back better looking than me," was the general cry of girlfriends and spouses as their men were led to the initial round of back, bikini and waist waxing. Within the hour, after giving themselves sexy names, most of the men were screaming in real pain.
"I'm broad-shouldered and waisted - I'm cursed," one lamented.
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To be fair, though, the majority, with professional help, came out considerably more attractive than the drag queens I've accidentally come on to in Burt's Tiki Lounge.
One of them was actually hot. But most just ended up looking like Hugh Jackman in "Van Helsing," "Kate and Leopold," or "Swordfish."
It wasn't all free drinks at the bar for these lady-gents. After the judging, the remaining finalists were whisked away to an alley apartment called the Doll House, which was luscious purple. One 6-foot-4 brunette remarked the interior looked "like someone threw up Skittles." And for once it wasn't my mother after a bottle of Jim Beam.
After they got to strip one another of confining dresses, everyone was given purple and pink bathrobes, champagne and a comfy couch to sit on and discuss the pain of heels and the burden of eye makeup - just like a frat induction.
All in all, it was slick, sexy and disturbingly entertaining. Though, were it mine, I may have hid the prize money in several federal prison inmates' mattresses and held a finalist scramble after mealtime for the $250,000.
The show's ending asks, "Boxers or briefs?"
The resounding answer? "Neither."
Enjoy.
