Balling till he's falling
by Riley Bauling
Daily Lobo
Jose Canseco left his indelible mark on me when a fly ball bounced off his head for a home run in 1993.
Canseco was an entertainer. He'll tell you this in his book, Juiced. And boy, if the 1993 incident is any testament, was I entertained.
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The man was a freak. He was fun to watch, fun to hear about, and good lord, was he fun to talk about. And Canseco is at it again, but the thing is, this time it's not so fun.
His book is a finger-pointing portrayal of the prolific steroid use that inundates Major League Baseball.
His motives for writing the book are quite clear. He sold his 1988 MVP plaque on eBay for $150,000 and is trying to hock his All-Star rings for around the same price. But it's about time someone started saying what we've all been thinking, even if his brain is still a little addled from that fly ball.
He says steroid use can't be stopped, and judging by MLB's lack of penalties for it, he's probably right.
But then the ball-to-the-noggin brain damage creeps in.
His solution to steroid use is to legalize it because correct steroid use can be part of a healthy lifestyle.
You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.
But he's not. He does say, though, that professional athletes who have monitored steroid-use regimens, such as Jason Giambi, are still capable of steroid abuse. While Canseco doesn't go into the side effects abuse may cause - weird, huh? - he says it's easy to do.
So then, Canseco, how do we keep kids from attempting to mimic their role models, namely, people like you? Maybe there aren't harmful side effects for proper use, but that's for proper use by adults, not kids who haven't matured yet.
Because Canseco may be hoping to land the next poster-boy gig for steroids if they hit the markets legally, he should be glad he has bulked up.
Maybe he can carry the weight that should be on his conscience when kids start abusing the stuff he advocates.
Furious P
by Phil Parker
Daily Lobo
To hear Jose Canseco tell it, I should be pretty ripped in about 30 years. My wife, too. And our dog, our cat and maybe even the houseplants will be benching twice their weight.
In his book Juiced, Canseco says steroids should be legal, and soon will be - not just in baseball, but in every sport. We'll all be juicing some day, and why not? Taken correctly, steroids help you look and feel better well into your 40s.
Maybe he's right. Probably he's wrong. Who cares?
He may be lying about injecting Mark McGuire with steroids in a bathroom stall, and I'm pretty sure he never ran a 3.9-second 40-yard dash.
What matters about this book, what makes it important in light of all the nasty revelations coming out about baseball's best players, is how Canseco plainly justifies the use of steroids in baseball.
His argument is pretty simple. A player who takes steroids is going to hit more home runs and more doubles. He's going to run faster. He won't tire out over the course of a brutal 162-game schedule.
And - bum bum bum baaaaaah - he's going to make a lot more money.
It's impossible to argue. He's just right. That bobble-headed basher in San Francisco is being compared to the all-time greats in every sport.
Canseco, at one time, was the best player in baseball, and he never would have been a lightning-fast home run machine without jacking 'roids. He admits it himself.
Last year, Major League Baseball set an all-time record for attendance with players at their most yoked.
Remember 1998, the year McGuire and Sammy Sosa saved baseball with their epic run at Roger Maris's record? It was juiced. They were most likely both using. I don't need Canseco to tell me that, even though he does repeatedly in his book.
Steroids saved baseball. Steroids are good for the game.
Like it or not, sport is a business at that level, and because players are popping greenies and injecting their asses, they put on a better, more lucrative show.
