by Damian Garde
Daily Lobo
Lil' Wayne is the RenÇ Descartes of hip-hop.
Way back in 1641, Descartes argued that God gave him the ability to perceive the truth. Then he argued that because he has a perception of God, and everything he perceives is true, God must exist - a theory using its own conclusion as a premise. This fallacy came to be known as the Cartesian circle and led lots of philosophers to shout at one another and generally contribute nothing to society.
Similarly, Lil' Wayne claims to be the best rapper alive. Granted, a rapper making an outlandish statement about his talents isn't exactly news. However, Wayne has a shocking number of co-signers, buying up his mixtapes like the RIAA didn't exist.
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But Wayne can't back this claim up for the same reason Descartes couldn't prove the existence of God - circular logic.
Can you be the greatest rapper alive if all you rhyme about is how good of a rapper you are? Looking back on Weezy's career, when has he ever rapped about anything? I guess his soft darts aimed at the president in "Georgia Bush" came close, but that song was buried at the end of Dedication II, a mixtape full of fly talk of skills, guns and women. When was the last time Wayne kicked a story song? For that matter, when was the last time he made a song that wasn't rife with trite puns about having more bread than a bakery?
Weezy's lack of topics first struck me on his latest mixtape, Da Drought 3. Wayne appropriated the instrumental to the Nas classic, "If I Ruled the World" - a song that finds Nas rapping about societal ills, institutionalized racism and his idea of utopia. In Wayne's hands, however, the song is appropriately re-titled "Get High, Screw Da World," and he proceeds to rap about the headlights in his Mercedes and his abundance of jewelry.
Even when Weezy flirts with drug-sale rap, it comes off as disingenuous. Granted, rappers' claims of hustler history are generally to be taken with a grain of salt, but in Wayne's case, believability is nil. His first gold-selling album came in 1997, when he was 15. So, if his claims of moving keys out of state are to be believed, he must have been selling drugs at 13. This is highly unlikely, unless he was that kid from "Fresh."
While Wayne's penchant for clever similes and obscure references is a source for hip-hop quotables, he'll forever remain the prototypical mixtape rapper - one who makes digestible punch-line raps for kids with short attention spans.
That, and he kissed his surrogate father on the lips, and that's weird.
