Spring has sprung.
The sun is shining, flowers are blooming and birds are singing. Outside there are happy sounds and sights galore. But inside some people, it is still a bleak winter - cold, gray and eternal. When you are very depressed, it feels like winter will never turn to spring. Life seems hopeless and meaningless, with no improvement in sight. Just getting out of bed in the morning is a big effort, and doing the things you need to do can be impossible. You can't concentrate, you're irritable, and nothing is fun. You're worried and stressed, distant from friends and family. You feel very alone. It can be terribly painful, sometimes unbearable. To a person in the depths of despair, suicide can seem like the only way to end the pain.
Believe it or not, suicides are higher in spring than around winter holidays. Why? It might be because spring brings more energy to a depressed person, allowing them to act on their suicidal impulse. It might be because the contrast between the inner and outer climates is so great that it pushes the depressed person deeper down. For college students, the stress of finals might add to the mix. And it turns out that often, during the winter holiday time, people actually reach out more to those they know are depressed, softening the isolation temporarily and decreasing the suicide rates.
Almost every day someone dies by their own hand in New Mexico. That's nearly twice the national rate. Nationwide, women attempt suicide four times more often than men, but men succeed four times more often than women. That may be partly because men tend to use more lethal methods, like guns. Firearms are the leading method of suicide, followed by suffocation (like breathing gas fumes) and then poisoning (by drug overdose).
Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among college students. As you well know, college is a time of high social and academic stress. Students don't sleep enough, and sleep deprivation messes with your mind. Depression and anxiety are pretty common at this age, as is substance use, all of which complicates the picture. Put all those factors together in just the wrong way, and the suffering can be overwhelming.
Students kill themselves, even here at UNM. And every time it happens, they take others down with them, people who love and care for them. Those people suffer from collateral damage for the rest of their lives.
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If you recognized yourself in the description of depression above, or if you are considering suicide, please get help. Why? Because nothing is permanent. Whatever is going on with you, it will change. It always does. It's the nature of nature, of life, of human minds and relationships. I can't promise you that things will be rosy tomorrow, or even that the next change will be for the better, but there will be change. And eventually, if you hang in there and get help, it will get better. Getting help is a crucial step in the road to a better place. Therapy, medication or both will make a difference.
Call Agora Crisis Center at 505-277-3013 or 1-866-HELP-1-NM (1-866-435-7166). Come in to Counseling and Therapy Services at Student Health and Counseling, or call 505-277-4537 for an appointment with one of our therapists.
If you recognized a friend or family member in the paragraph above, or if you know someone who might be suicidal, this next part is for you.
Most people who become suicidal will show signs of it before they take drastic action. They might seem depressed, angry, nervous, guilty or anxious. They might have just suffered a big bad event, like a breakup or a death in the family. They might be drinking or using drugs more than usual. They might talk about how bad they feel, or even talk about wanting to die. If you hear this, please take it seriously. A suicide threat or attempt often leads to a successful suicide and should never be taken lightly.
People who have decided to end their lives might experience relief and seem suddenly calm or lighthearted after a period of being down. They might give away their precious belongings or make attempts to get their affairs in order, like making a will.
If you think that someone you know might be suicidal, trust your gut. Talk to them. More importantly, listen to them. Ask them how they are doing. Ask them if they are considering suicide. No, you will not put the idea in their head. When someone is that depressed, the idea of suicide is already in their head. Talking about it will make it less likely to happen, not more. Urge them to get help or even take them yourself. Walk them into CATS. Dial the Agora number and put the phone in their hand.
Peggy Spencer, M.D., is a board-certified family physician. She has been a UNM Student Health physician for 17 years and a Daily Lobo contributing columnist for three years. She is co-author of the book 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s. Drop your questions in her box in the lobby of Student Health and Counseling, or e-mail her directly at Pspencer@unm.edu. All questions will be considered, and all questioners will remain anonymous. This column has general health information only and cannot replace a visit to a health provider.
