Whenever somebody begins a sentence with “I’m a (blank), but…” I know I’m going to be sneering at whatever they’re about to say.
The “I’m an atheist/Christian/Democrat/ethicist, but” line is especially humorous because it tells me two things: The first is that you are trying to ingratiate yourself to me by attempting to form a common bond, and the second says that you are hoping that this phrase will protect you from an unpleasant rebuttal.
What it says, in other words, is, “Hey, look, I’m the same as you. You like people the same as you. If you think I’m the same as you, I can sway you to my point of view.”
Well, no. You bloody cannot because you’ve just painted a bright red target on your ass and declared it hunting season.
Oh, you’re a libertarian, too? A Republican? A social feminist? And you are about to express an opinion contrary to what that group usually says?
Sounds like you’re lying to me, and, even if you are not, I hope you know your positions backward and forward because I’m going to be directing verbal artillery fire at them so I can utterly destroy them.
There is no reason to hold back, either. When you use such a smarmy trick to try and fool me, while expressing such a poor opinion of your own views at the same time, I’m going to be pissed. It’s the equivalent to approaching somebody with your arms over your face while saying, “Please don’t hit me.” It invites attack.
Don’t do this.
Instead, state your opinion boldly: “Hey! You’re making us all look bad!” is infinitely better than laying down your arms and accepting defeat before you have even heard my response. Or hit back with your own opinion and be proud of what it is. Show me the error of my ways with courage, not cowardice. I do not mean that you should be close-minded. I do not mean that you should ignore all opinions contrary to your own. What I mean is that nothing can get done in an argument where one side presents itself as weak.
If you truly believe that the other side is wrong and that it needs to hear your opinion, express that opinion. Do not coat it in words to weaken its impact. Say it directly.
An argument is a verbal fight distinct from a discussion where both sides are trying to learn something. Do not confuse the two, and treat them appropriately.
And what is the worst the opposition can say, anyway? Either that you’re wrong or you are an idiot. And if they go only with the second they’re fools and you can ignore them because they cannot back up their opinions with a solid argument.
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You do not need to be articulate with fools. You don’t even need to articulate at all with them. So fear not — throw back your shoulders and state your mind. State it boldly, state it proudly, and don’t mind those who would tear you down.
If it is worth believing, it is worth defending and no idea, however true or sound, can be defended with such a weak position as “I’m a… but…”
Do not apologize before you can be proven wrong.
Do not apologize if you are not wrong.
