Wooley’s Weekly Wisdom

Daily actions, decisions re-affirm faltering faith

Dear Wooley,

I didn’t grow up in church, but came to Christ when I was in high school. I’ve since come to college, and for a while, I was very heavily involved in my relationship with God. I had a great church near campus I attended regularly. Well, about a year ago, I left that church and stopped praying because of some events that happened in my life. Never did I really doubt that God wasn’t there. I just was angry at Him. Here’s my question: I’ve been struggling with my faith and have begun to want to resume practicing, but I don’t know if I have enough faith to pray again, especially in the middle of a busy semester. How do I put my faith in something and rebuild my faith again?

-Faithfully Frustrated

Dear Faithfully,

In no way can I attempt to know everything about God or faith or religious things. I don’t, so I write this response humbly, offering my point of view, hoping it helps.

Everyone has faith. That may be a bold statement, but it’s not, really. We all put our faith in something. That’s actually the definition of faith. According to Webster’s, faith is “confidence or trust in a person or thing.” I’m not a fan of that definition because it excludes atheists. They have faith; they just choose to not put it in any deity. Everyone has faith: in God, in themselves, in someone or something.

As far as building your faith, that’s a very personal and conscious choice to make. I’d suggest you find others who believe the same as you do. Just by being around them, your faith will probably be strengthened. If you feel comfortable, talk to them about your feelings, and perhaps they can help. 

Also, the decisions you make in regards to how you choose to use your time can increase your faith. The actions you make and the things that you see and believe because you experience them regularly can have the same effect. This doesn’t just apply to spiritual matters.

When I was little, I would grab the brown bag with my name written on it from the counter top and toss it into my backpack before school. I never actually looked into the bag until lunchtime, but I had faith that my mom had packed my lunch. My faith in this became so strong that it just became part of me and how I saw the world. When I hit middle school and had to make my own lunch, my faith in my midday meal then turned to myself.

What I’m getting at is that faith is created and reinforced by daily choices.

Only act on crush on teacher at semester’s end

Dear Wooley,

For the first time in my college career, I have a really hot teaching assistant. He always makes me laugh and is really helpful with all the material, but I also don’t want to get him in trouble with the instructor if we were to start going out. Is there a good, secret way to go about this?

-Hot for Teacher (Assistant)
 
Dear Hot for Teacher,

Teaching assistant/instructor crushes are typically frowned upon. I’m with you, though: a minor crush on an instructor doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It probably has made you study a little more and put more effort into your homework and into showing up to class. Just don’t get crazy with it. While you’re in this class, remember he is in a position of authority over you, the student. He’s there to teach you, before all else.

To specifically answer your question, wait until the end of the semester before you ask this teaching assistant out for coffee, or whatever you do to make your move. By doing so, you both are protected and there’s no awkwardness throughout the semester.

Ditch the disappearing dude, date better men
 
Dear Wooley,

I’m in a predicament. Why do guys always pull disappearing acts only to reappear again? I was seeing someone for a couple months off and on and then all of a sudden — poof! — he was gone, right as I was going out of the country. While I was away, he wrote me emails telling me how he missed me and that he couldn’t wait until I got back. Fast forward a month. Back in town, I got an email from him asking to go out to dinner. When I responded with my number — poof! Gone again! Now he texts me two months later with the lame excuse that he just realized I gave him my number, and that he misses me. Barf. Should I just ignore the douche or give him another chance?

-Confused

Dear Confused,

Aren’t you exhausted? You sound like a genie that pops out every time this guy rubs your lamp and calls you out, only for him not to be there when you come running.

Usually, I’m a hopeless romantic and supportive of second chances, but this guy needs to go for good. No one deserves to be a yo-yo on a string. That’s manipulation. Have more respect for yourself than to entertain that mess.

Once you end things with this guy, wait for someone who treats you right, makes you feel precious and actively pursues you. Consistency, stability and honesty should be among the words you find yourself using when you describe him to your friends.
Be happy. Don’t settle for anything less. Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for.

If you have questions and need answers, please send an email to Wooleysweeklywisdom@gmail.com He’ll be more than happy to answer any questions or concerns you might have. Be sure to check out his Facebook page, ask-ryan-wooley.