I am disturbed at the amount of offline learning going on in a supposedly modern school such as UNM. None of my history or English classes feature online course work. Sure they may have online supplementary material occasionally, but that is nothing compared to the trailblazing language classes. Having had classes with both online and offline content, I can say the classes with online content are better in every way.
My prototypical example is my Spanish class, as contrasted with the few sign language courses I have taken. The sign courses have had almost no online content, while the Spanish course uses online content as a tool — a crutch, if you will. Homework in sign class is usually handouts or partner work, while Spanish class uses Pearson’s MyLanguageLabs.
Gone are handouts or working face-to-face with a partner. Gone are the days when I would have to waste my time arranging meetings between fellow classmates and my own difficult schedule. I can now spend five minutes online doing homework between Twitter, Facebook and YouTube. Because the online homework gives me infinite chances, I can randomly guess, thus freeing up even more time. And because the teacher no longer needs to pay attention to student homework, it frees up their time, too.
I’m grateful and thankful the language departments are so considerate of my time. I’m equally thankful the online service that they have selected utilizes the post-progressive attitude toward competent Internet browsers such as Safari, Chrome and most versions of Firefox by rejecting them all and standing by Internet Explorer.
I am especially grateful the site’s reliance on pop-ups makes my computer’s anti-virus programs crazy. I like how my anti-spyware programs won’t even let me do my lessons without turning all of them off. It’s as if the department picked a service that was completely in step with the modern online experience. I can’t even begin to thank the Spanish department, the French department and possibly the other language departments, for leading the way in serious online content. I enjoy how they suggest that I download and install chat programs I’ve never heard of to talk to strangers to encourage a more baffling language experience. I imagine what English as a Second Language students must go through as being fairly typical:
ESL student: Hello my names are Michael. Am of Columbia. Can I ask a many questions of mine English class?
Me: Okay.
ESL student: What are you do this weekend?
Me: It was great. I went to see a magic show and damn if that magician didn’t do the strangest feats of legerdemain and prestidigitation I have ever seen. It was as if the law of entropy had been completely smashed and dashed to the floor!
ESL student: Sorry. What? My English are bad.
Given this exchange, I must put the sign language department in the spotlight and ask why? Why do you insist on giving beginning students practical experience when interacting with people from the Deaf community? Everybody knows the best way to learn a language is to wade as deeply into the Internet as you are able, letting the tides wash you out to sea.
I know one Paraguayan girl who learned English entirely online. Her mastery of it is very impressive too: “I haz English, English language is English. You no haz the quesoburger?” “Otherwise people think I am crazy like a crazy thing” is also good. It puts both my Spanish and French to shame.
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If you don’t believe in-person contact isn’t worthless, let me relate a quick story. I was in Paris years ago. Hungry, I decided to head to the market to get myself a bite to eat. I felt the need for sea food and asked to buy some fish. They instead handed me a box of rat poison. Luckily, I saw the skull and crossbones in time and was only mildly sick.
I can only hope the other departments follow in the steps of the language departments by incorporating technology in a depersonalizing, haphazard manner that distances the teachers from the students, encourages guessing and discourages personal contact so I can get back to my text messages and video games.
