He wanted to get in those pants
UNMPD responded to a call about an unknown suspect rummaging through a pair of pants in an office at the UNM natatorium on Jan. 15. According to the report, the owner of the pants’ office mate spotted the suspect.

The witness confronted the suspect, who said he was looking for a professor. UNMPD confirmed through the National Crime Information Center that the suspect gave the witness false identification information. When the owner of the pants returned to his office he found nothing missing from his pants.

Smack talk, face smack reported near SUB
According to a UNMPD report, an unknown suspect verbally assaulted a man, then struck the man on the mouth with a skateboard he was carrying on Jan. 17 near the SUB. The case is considered to be closed, pending further leads.

Arson threatened at SHAC, report says
Staff members at Student Health Services called UNMPD after a man reportedly said he would burn something down if one more person called him by his real name. The police reported it as a “gender crisis.” According to the report, the man then walked out of the building and punched a the window of a car.

Police were told the man and the owner of the car both went back into the building to talk to the medical director, and were met by police when they left again. The owner of the car told police he did not want to prosecute the man for breaking his car window. The man finally agreed to give police his name, but had to write it down because he reportedly said it was painful saying his given name.

Computer reported stolen from library
On Jan. 19, a suspect stole a small desktop computer from Zimmerman Library. According to the UNMPD report, a man set off the alarm when he left the library, then dropped his backpack and fled. Minutes later, he returned. While he was gone, a security guard opened the backpack and found a computer that was reportedly worth $2,000 in it. The computer was not damaged, except for the property tag having been removed.

UNMPD busts pot party at Lobo Village
UNMPD was dispatched to Lobo Village in response to a loud party on Jan. 20. According to the report, the officer arrived to find eight people surrounded by what smelled like burnt marijuana. The officer instructed everyone but the two residents to check out with security and leave.

The residents told police they had “smoked a couple of joints.” The officer reported that he saw “bits of stems and leaves of green vegetable material” on the counter, as well as a pipe “that appeared to be consistent with those that my training and experience have shown to be commonly used to smoke marijuana.” Both the vegetable material and the pipe were seized, and the officer wrote the residents criminal nontraffic citations. There was no further information at the time of the report.