Sarah Crawford’s, Jocelyn Quintana’s and Ruthie Fogelman’s ages span across two decades.
Their life stories and career goals are radically different, but they have one important thing in common: all three women got pregnant and considered abortion.
The Nov. 19 vote on the “Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act” has sparked heated local conversation on New Mexico’s late-term abortion laws as well as broad debates about abortion in general.
New Mexico has no restrictions on abortions; a woman can choose to have one for any reason up to the moment of birth.
While politics, religion and proselytizing abound in the conversation, what do women who have become pregnant have to say? What is it like to be faced with the decision of abortion, and how do women decide what to do?
While these three women do not speak for every woman, or every situation, their stories give a peek into why a woman might terminate or continue her pregnancy.
Sarah’s Story
Spanish major Sarah Crawford said she has had two abortions. The first, she said she was twenty something, she used a condom and she still got pregnant.
Crawford said she was not ready for a child and found a clinic in her area and went alone to have the procedure.
“It was traumatic because I didn’t know the process or how long it was going to take or how I would feel afterward, but I was relieved afterward,” she said. “I don’t regret it. It was the best decision for me.”
Years later, Crawford said she was studying abroad in South America when she found out she was pregnant by her long-term boyfriend.
But Crawford was in a country where abortion is illegal. A medication called Mifipristone, more commonly known as RU-486, is known to cause miscarriages in women if it is taken during the first seven weeks of pregnancy. It is also used to treat glaucoma, major depression and various types of cancer.
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Crawford said she and her boyfriend went through several doctors and then several pharmacies before they were able to obtain the pills.
Since abortions were illegal, Crawford said she did not have access to professionals who could walk her through the process. Instead, she watched YouTube videos and read pamphlets about the process.
Still unsure of how she would react to the pills, and worried about upsetting her host family, Crawford said she and her boyfriend rented a hostel for the weekend, where she took the pills.
“I wanted him to be there with me. I’d done it the other way, with the surgical procedure, but I’d never taken pills before,” she said. During both pregnancies, the 32-year-old said she felt guilty and irresponsible. Feelings she said she thinks many women have because of the shaming within society.
“When a man has sex, he’s not shamed for it. When a woman has sex, more often, she is shamed for it. He’s not going to get pregnant. She might, and when she does – when I did – that’s the first thing I went to,” she said. “You think back on all the things that you could’ve done, that you should’ve done.”
Crawford said she wants to be vocal about her experience because she feels women shouldn’t be looked down on for their decisions about their bodies. Worldwide, she said, about 30 percent of women have an abortion in their lifetime.
She said others often do not understand how difficult it can be to make the decision to abort, and that often leads to the idea that women agree to abortions often and easily.
“I don’t think anybody actually wants to abort. Meaning nobody’s stoked about it, like ‘We’re going to the fair, this is awesome.’ It’s not something you get excited about,” she said.
Crawford said she participated in early voting for the “Pain Capable Unborn Child Act.” She cast her vote against the measure. “I did so because I believe that it is important that we continue to support a woman’s right to make decisions that are right for her, without government interference,” she said.
Jocelyn’s Story
Jocelyn Quintana said she was happy when she found out she was pregnant in 2007.
She and her boyfriend wanted to have a family and excitedly prepared for baby Joseph.
During a routine 20-week ultrasound, Quintana said her doctor noticed that the baby’s head was shaped like a lemon and ordered more testing.
The test results were devastating for Quintana. Baby Joseph had Spina Bifida Cystica, the worst and most rare form, she said. The baby had already developed anencephaly, a side-effect where fluid builds up in the skull, causing brain damage.
Doctors told Quintana her baby would be born brain dead, she said. “It was really hard to decide what to do,” she said. “I wanted to have my child.”
Quintana, a practicing Catholic, said her entire family was by her side as she explored her options. She said she spoke to geneticists, researched Spina Bifida and even went with her mother to visit patients at Carrie Tingley Hospital.
“There was a gentleman there, he was 23 years old, and he had Spina Bifida. He told me about how he has bags for his bowels and bladder and how he’s never had a really good life. He told me that if his mother could have, he wishes she should have terminated him when she was pregnant,” she said.
Quintana terminated her pregnancy at 25 weeks.
After months of grief counseling and recovery, Quintana and her boyfriend became pregnant again. This time with a girl, whom they planned to name Melanie.
Quintana shared her concerns about Spina Bifida with her doctors, hoping that there was a way to ensure a healthy baby this time, she said.
“(The doctors) said there shouldn’t be any worry. It’s almost unheard of for it to happen twice,” she said.
But it did. At 20 weeks, the baby was diagnosed with Spina Bifida Cystica and Anencephaly.
Quintana said she and her boyfriend ended the pregnancy at 21 weeks.
The stress and pain of the experience caused a rift between Quintana and her boyfriend and the two broke up shortly after. In 2009, Quintana said she was in another committed relationship and making progress in life.
Then, Quintana got pregnant a third time.
“I seriously thought of aborting the child right away because I was thinking I couldn’t have kids; they were all going to have Spina Bifida,” she said.
Quintana said she decided to wait for the ultrasound. For her, five months was a short time to wait if it meant having a child. Her patience paid off, Quintana’s 20 week ultrasound revealed a healthy boy.
Now 26, Quintana said she’s a single mom and takes classes at the University of Phoenix as a business administration major while working at an insurance office.
Quintana said she plans to vote against the proposed “Pain Capable Unborn Child Act.”
“As a woman, I feel it is my choice in what I do with my body,” she said. “I had the choice on whether or not I want to bring someone in this world to suffer. Just like a family would make a decision to stop a loved one’s suffering on life support, by pulling the plug. My family and I made a hard decision to pull the plug as well.”
Ruthie’s Story
Nineteen-year-old Ruthie Fogleman is a business major at CNM, with multi-colored hair and a Hello Kitty Backpack.
She’s been dating her boyfriend for a year and spends her free time with her grandmother.
She is also eight months pregnant and is excited about the birth of her first child.
When Fogleman found out she was pregnant, she and her boyfriend agreed that an abortion was the best choice.
“Basically, he said ‘We can’t have a kid because we’re young and we have a lot to do and that would just interfere with everything’ and I said ‘You’re right,’” Fogleman said.
Fogleman is a student and works fulltime in a call center, and her 22-year-old boyfriend has not yet enrolled in college. A baby, she said, would be too much.
Fogleman called a clinic, scheduled an appointment and began looking for the money to have the procedure.
This was when the doubts first started, she said. Finding the money was proving difficult and each passing day only reminded Fogleman of what was happening within her body.
“I didn’t want to waste any time. You just realize (the baby’s) developing more and more,” she said.
A conversation changed her mind. Fogleman said her 30-year-old sister, a mother of three, told the younger woman about her abortion, and how it had left her with only one working ovary.
“That was the day when I decided I wasn’t going to do it,” she said.
Fogleman said she cancelled the appointment and told her boyfriend she had decided to go through with the pregnancy.
Her boyfriend, she said, was not thrilled at first. She said he thought it was a selfish decision and reminded her that she was not finished with school. He came around quickly though, she said. “Now he’s just like ‘Oh, our baby,’” she said.
The pregnancy alone has already affected Fogleman’s life, she said. Her job requires hours of sitting, which often leaves her sore, and her energy level has sunk, making school a little harder to keep up with, she said.
“I’ve had to call into work because I’m just really exhausted, and I’m not taking as many classes,” she said.
Now a happy mother-to-be, Fogleman said she is expecting a baby boy on Dec. 15. She plans to quit her job and continue taking classes while her sister babysits. One day, Fogleman said she hopes to open her own salon and massage business.
She said she will continue living with her grandmother for the time being, but may decide in the future to move in with her boyfriend.
Fogleman said she does not plan to vote on the “Pain Capable Unborn Child Act.”
“I really don’t care either way. I don’t want to get involved in other people’s choices,” she said. “I didn’t have an abortion, but I don’t care if other people do.”
