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Thursday, November 27, 2014

#Relationship status: So this is love?

@JoshuaDolin

“I just want to make something work with us, Josh. I want to build a relationship.”

That was what Sam told me last week. Before I continue with my newest relationship drama, some of you may be wondering what happened to Cody.

I liked Cody, and I enjoyed our time together over the past few weeks, but in the end he just wasn’t right for me. We had plans for him to come over and spend the night last weekend, but when I actually thought about it, I was in love with his abs, not him.

He is a very nice person, but I just did not see myself falling in love with him, so I did not see the point in sleeping with him.

But now Sam wants to build a relationship with me. Sam is an attractive concierge at a luxury resort. He is motivated, polite, honest and shares many similar goals with me. The only problem? He lives in Houston and we matched on Tinder last week when I had a layover there.

I didn’t think much of our conversation, until he asked to talk on the phone.

I thought it was odd to talk on the phone with someone I had never met, but I decided that if I can text Tinder matches all the time, why not call them?

And our phone conversation was not nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. In fact, I kind of liked it.

Sam was charming, interesting and charismatic. We have continued to talk and text for the last week and he has said multiple times that he thinks I’m a catch and he really wants to date me. This isn’t as weird as you may think because I am moving to Texas in a few weeks, but it’s still very forward.

“He said that I am the only person he is romantically interested in and he is crazy about me,” I told my friends a few days ago.

“But you have only known him for a week,” Maggie said. “And never met. I think you should tell him to pump the brakes.”

But then I started to think about what my friends and I are looking for in love. We have spent the past year trying to find a guy who loves us and we have all been unsuccessful.

Here is a guy who meets all of my requirements and actively pursues me. Part of me thinks my flirtationship with Sam is just bizarre, but the other part of me thinks I’m lucky anyone wants to date me and I should just go along with it.

Collette has also been seeing a guy who speeds up normal relationship time. After their second date when Patrick took her to meet his family, Collette was so “traumatized” that she said she was done dating forever.

“So on our third date last week, he asked me to marry him,” Collette said.

“No he did not!” I said in shock so loudly that people in Zimmerman were startled.

“Patrick begged me not to move to Seattle after graduation,” she continued. “He said he would spend every day of the next 32 before I leave convincing me to stay here and move in with him. This was a legitimate conversation we had on our third time seeing each other.”

After a whole year of only finding men who only lie to us, cheat on us or use us for blowjobs, we are now faced with the opposite problem.

“Is there no middle ground anymore?” I asked Collette. “We either have boys that just want sex or boys that just want marriage. Can we find someone in between?”

Collette and I both have boys that love us so much that they practically want to marry us before we even find out if they are a dog or cat person.

“This was the conversation Patrick and I had right before I ended everything,” Collette said. “‘Can we be in a relationship?’ No. ‘Can we casually date?’ No. ‘Can I kiss you?’ Absolutely not.”

Even Maggie has learned about a guy who is crazy about her.

“So tonight at work I found out that Brady was apparently in love with me last year, he just never told me,” Maggie said.

“Is he still in love with you?” I asked.

“No, he doesn’t work with me anymore. My coworkers told me that it wasn’t just a crush, it was legit love. But he never said anything to me, thank God.”

I have spent this whole year writing about the modern search for love, and now that my friends and I have men who want to give that to us, we are running away.

Last week I went to Disney World, which is my favorite place in the world. But this time something just didn’t seem right.

As I walked around the Magic Kingdom I saw happy families holding their children’s hands and buying them princess dresses or mouse ears, and that’s when I realized what I’m missing.

I want to have a family. The strongest love imaginable is the love a parent has with a child, and there is nothing more that I want than to take my own children to Disney World with my husband.

I want to hold their hand on their first roller coaster ride and watch them cover themselves in ice cream. I want to make them happy and I want to hold them when they are scared.

But in order to have children and a family I need to find a man to love me. And if I can’t do that, I might miss out on the greatest opportunity any of us can hope to have in our lifetime.

Now my friends and I have men who want to speed up this whole process faster than we can imagine, and we don’t know what to do. Sam has already shared his dreams for a family and said that he is looking for someone to start one with. But I still can’t decide what color underwear to put on in the morning, much less choose the right man.

We are all young and just having fun now, but is it possible that we will wake up in 15 years and realize that we never had the opportunity to make a family with someone else? Love is something we share with another person, our future children and sometimes, bottomless mimosas.

Having children is the most rewarding experience we will ever have, but what am I supposed to do if I cannot find a man to share that with? Do we all have a chance to make a family? Or are some of us just destined to be alone forever? Am I worrying too early? And in the modern search for love, what happens to those of us who are #ForeverSingle?

Only 2 more installments of #RelationshipStatus left in the Daily Lobo!

After May 8, the search for love continues at RelationshipStatus.blogspot.com

Current Relationship Statuses:
Josh: Forever single
Ashley: Eric hasn’t asked for a blowjob yet
Alice: Bill is moving to live with her
Collette: Divorced?
Aurora: Gave her number to the farmer’s market boy
Maggie: Discovering more lovers

Like reading #RelationshipStatus?
Make it Facebook official- Facebook.com/RelationshipStatusUNM
Follow the official blog- RelationshipStatus.blogspot.com