by Pei Fen Loo
U-Wire
A running video camera and the thought of millions of Americans watching could easily unnerve anyone on a first date.
Yet, the telegenic singles featured on the slew of reality dating shows seem totally at ease trading torrid kisses with their dates, flashing their objects of affection, stripping down to nothingness in hot tubs and oh, someone give me a count on those endless body shots already.
Much like high school popularity contests, reality dating shows have been manipulated into racy competitions. The end result is almost always about the pairing of two equally attractive singles.
How do you find love in a city of rushing around?
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You don't. At least not in the elimiDATE/5th Wheel/Meet My Folks way.
For one, the participants on such shows do not accurately represent the general public. Has a nerd ever appeared on a show? The geeks and freaks don't stand a chance as the camera obviously adores the strapping hunks and screen-ready babes.
Too bad, I hear you say?
Well then, don't slap the word "reality" on it.
For another, these shows seem to provide a quick fix for voyeurism. Maybe you think your own love life is a little on the slow/dry side.
But of course, when it's compared with such shows! Everything is on fast forward mode - countless dating rituals are sped up or simply axed from the show. Post-production has the enviable task of fitting a daylong date into a half hour time slot.
What doesn't sell (the small talk, dropping the salad fork on your date's feet, the jitters you're feeling, and the little idiosyncrasies you notice about your date) doesn't receive airtime. Post-production gets a field day deciding what America should watch.
I hear dating show addicts beg for a little less prudishness. Sure, such shows are all about fun.
But these shows also enjoy after school timeslots, breeding judgmental, voyeuristic natures in youngsters.
At the risk of sounding like the Mars-Venus cosmic love guide writer John Gray, such shows send out the idea that meaningful and fulfilling relationships do not exist in this time and day.
Not everyone does body shots on a first date, but more sedate (wholesome, if you please) variations of dates are obviously not sensational enough for airtime.
It's a silent kind of propaganda, the further perpetuation of the myth that hey, you too could/should/would flash someone on your next first date.
The youth of America could do with less promiscuity onscreen. These shows give the impression that first dates (and people on first dates) are tedious, banal tasks that need to be spiced up with saucy actions.
Shallow personalities abound, so beware.
Supporters of this ultimate dating carnival experience may also argue that although most of these shows have half hour timeslots, the couple may actually have had ample time to bond. Post-production simply cuts out those bonding moments, pandering instead to America's fixation with more flesh and flash.
Get real.
Would you believe that these people could behave naturally with a camera fixated on their every move? Such shows make instant celebrities out of otherwise unknown Joes and Janes.
Whatever their motives may be is not the issue here. Rather, such shows seem to set some bizarre Hollywood yardstick on how dates should progress.
As hormones rage across campus with the start of school, some freshmen inevitably begin their rites of dating. These shows may give the false impression that one has to be ever popular and/or engage in wanton behavior during the first date.
"Reality" here isn't about choosing someone because he wore the right shirt or she acted wild enough during a round of drinks.
Reality is about mental connection.
I'd be lying if I said one's physical attributes do not matter. But there is a difference between needless in-your-face behavior and earnestly getting to know someone. Still, America continues to be enthralled by the onscreen antics of young men and women.
Seriously, whose date is it anyway - yours or theirs?
