UNM Professor Richard Berthold is not a liberal.
The history instructor, who has taught at the University for more than 30 years, said that has been the biggest misconception about him since his fateful Pentagon comment from nearly a year ago.
"I'm not some kind of lefty, anti-military, anti-American freak," Berthold said. "I support our boys - I just have trouble with their commanders sometimes."
Berthold became the subject of great local and national scrutiny when, on Sept. 11, he said in one of his classes that, "anybody who can blow up the Pentagon has my vote." Since then, he has received death threats and hate mail; he was forced to sign a letter of reprimand by the University; he was banned from teaching freshmen classes; his removal from the University was pursued by a group of Albuquerque Republicans; and he was given an unfavorable post-tenure review.
The UNM professor also wrote a letter of apology, which was printed in the New Mexico Daily Lobo last September. As a result of his comment, he has appeared on national news programs such as "Nightline."
Through it all, the once flamboyant and caustic professor has toned down, but is not yet defeated. Peppering his sentences with casual profanity, as if a college student instead of a tenured professor, he said that he was ashamed of himself for not fighting in court for his freedom of speech.
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"Now that all that stress is going away, I'm ashamed of myself for having given in to the University instead of taking it to court," Berthold said.
He said that at least one national organization was ready to pay for an attorney and other expenses but "fighting deep pockets like the University in court was scary."
Berthold admitted that he had a difficult time during the past year, especially with all the media coverage.
"As much as I like attention, I discovered that negative attention isn't quite that fun," he said.
The biggest loss, Berthold said, was that teaching his classes lost some of its enjoyment. He said he had considered retiring this year, but he still loves standing in front of a classroom and teaching.
His students, Berthold added, are what make his job what it is and he appreciated their support during the past year.
"The following Tuesday I came into my Greek history class - it was like a hundred people out there - and when I walked in the room, they all applauded me and I was in tears," he said. "I was just so miserable, these people want to fire me, I'm getting death threats and to walk into this class and have them spontaneously give me an ovation was just the tonic I needed. Probably the best moment in a 30-year career, relating to students."
Berthold added that he might not return next year and he asked for a sabbatical for the spring semester, but doubts that will happen. He said that retiring now, even after 30 years of teaching, money would still be tight.
"But what really terrifies me is not having any classes," he said. "Not having those captive audiences to pour all my shit on."
Berthold added that it's unlikely he will stay with the University, citing his unfavorable first post-tenure review. Another review is scheduled for next year.
"I just don't have the energy to deal with this crap anymore, so I'm not likely to be around all that much longer," he said.
Berthold ventured cautiously toward the subject of how Sept. 11 affected him.
"The murder of 3,000 people in New York doesn't bother me any more or less than the murder of 3,000 people anywhere else on the planet," he said. "I know I'm supposed to care more because they're my fellow citizens, but hey, if this had happened in Albuquerque it would have a much greater shock. This is my community."
He added that because he "made that callous remark," it did have tremendous personal impact as he had to fight many in the community for a while. Which leads back to what bothers Berthold the most about the controversy that has swept him away.
Berthold maintains that he is actually quite conservative on most counts; just less mindful of the way he speaks, believing that honesty is the best policy. But, he added, that doesn't mean he's not patriotic.
He added, however, that the people who truly matter to him - his students - know who he really is.
"I consider myself a patriot, more of a patriot than some of the mindless flag-wavers," he said. "And we have to keep in mind it was critics of the government and outright traitors who ultimately founded this country back in the 18th century."
Berthold added that he considers it "to be the burden of a true patriot to criticize the government, even in times of crises," if that patriot believes it is acting wrongly.
Berthold said that he truly fears that serious threats are being raised against civil liberties and that Sept. 11 was the best thing that could happen to President Bush. But, he added, Democratic leaders would have been just as quick to monopolize on the events of the terrorist attacks.
Although many would view those comments as just as controversial as the one he made last year, Berthold insists it is his right, and the right of everyone else, to speak their minds no matter what the situation may be.
