Madelyne Gorman Toogood has caused a bit of a stir lately - namely from being caught on a store tape while she was beating her four-year-old daughter two weeks ago.
The nation gasped as a blatant act of domestic violence was displayed to the public eye. But it's not something that people don't know about. After all, domestic violence crimes happen in literally hundreds of thousands of homes in this country - safe from prying eyes. Statistics also only cover those cases actually reported, and a wide majority of domestic violence incidents are never reported.
Domestic violence is this nation's dirty little secret. It is steeped into a culture of shame that the victim is somehow to blame, that the person deserved to be beaten or sexually abused or neglected or emotionally abused. It's wrong and damaging. Nobody deserves to be abused - especially not by another family member. Rapes and abuse cases go unreported all the time. Because many people don't want to hear it, see it or know about it.
But Toogood has forced people to acknowledge a common fact. The Albuquerque Tribune reported that, "New Mexico is ranked fifth worst in the nation for incidents of domestic violence by the National Network To End Domestic Violence." It happens right here, folks. It doesn't matter the demographic - rich people can be abusive; it doesn't matter the race - white people can be abusive; and it doesn't matter the age - older children can be abusive as well.
Many people, adults and children alike, go home each night to living nightmares. And many are too scared or ashamed to even call the police. That's not right. And many abusers were abused themselves. It's a vicious cycle that leads to a variety of societal problems, from alcoholism to drug addiction to other violent crimes.
If society took its blinders off, stood up and shouted out to people that "No! Abuse is wrong and it will not be tolerated," then perhaps domestic violence victims and survivors could finally find some peace, within themselves and with their families.
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Maybe they would stop feeling ashamed of the hell that they will carry around their entire lives.
Angela Williams
Editor in Chief
