Go ahead, admit it - you really don't know all there is to know when it comes to sex.
Paul Joannides does and proves it in the Guide to Getting it On.
The Guide is an amusing and overly sarcastic book that discusses in detail all aspects of "the nasty," in common and slang terms, unlike most material on the subject that takes the proper and more physiological approach. Far from politically correct, the book's new edition features more than 50 vivid and humorous illustrations making the Guide an enjoyable experience for those who lack reading skills or an imagination.
Published in more than 14 languages, the award-winning book features eight new chapters on everything from "Kink in the Animal Kingdom" to "Sex and Cyberspace."
"Kink in the Animal Kingdom," explores the theory that humans are not the only animals who hook up for the hell of it. In the animal kingdom, Joannides writes, not only does sex for pleasure exist, but no one would notice "any animals with white collars and Bibles who were telling their fellow animals that they would burn in hell for their ungodly behaviors."
"Sex in Cyberspace" describes Internet pornography, gives advice on Internet relationships and offers insight into the perks of cybersex.
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"In cyberspace, people exist as words, sentences and lines of text, unless you park a video cam between your legs, and let the interface fly. And if you find yourself in a fantasy situation that starts to feel uncomfortable, relief is just a delete button away," Joannides writes.
For the other few billion people in the world who have sex with an actual person, Joannides gives all kinds of advice on how to give your lovemaking skills an edge. Something that after reading this book may or may not freak your partner out.
Other whimsical chapters of the Guide include "The Dirty Word Chapter," "Dyslexia of the Penis" and "Sex When You are Horny and Disabled."
Every page of the Guide is dripping with laughter, and not just from the illustrations or chapter names, but also from the questions readers ask Joannides at the end of each chapter.
The questions are by far the funniest part of the book and showcase the stupidity of the American public. One reader asked if a man should be "given the same kind of hand job" if he is circumcised or uncircumcised. Another poor reader asks for advice on how to make herself lactate for her psychotic boyfriend. Other questions are just common sense, and the fact that someone would actually be asking something along those lines boggles one's mind.
All and all, the Guide to Getting it On is worth reading. Whether you want to laugh or learn, it is doubtful you will be disappointed.
It tells you everything you ever wanted to know, some stuff that you never did and everything that your mother could never tell you.
