by Kelly Brocklehurst
Daily Lobo
During difficult breakups, Alison James said she never got the advice she wanted.
Today James is offering advice to women going through the same experiences.
James, 30, is the author of I Used to Miss Him... But My Aim is Improving, a tongue-in-cheek breakup survival guide for women.
"A lot of the self-help books are touchy-feely," she said. "They say, 'Do the right thing,' or 'Take the higher ground.'"
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In reality, she said it's okay if women feel like throwing beer on their exes.
"I like to make little jokes about what you might be thinking versus what people might be telling you to do," she said.
In her book, she created lists for coping. One is how to get back at your ex. For the yuppie ex, erase his Palm Pilot. For the commitment-phobic ex, sign him up for an aggressive CD-ordering catalog.
James majored in public policy at Princeton University and attended the London School of Economics as a social policy graduate student. Her main focus was women's issues, and she studied the kinds of barriers women have and how to solve those problems.
She said she took her academic background and combined it with her personal experiences to create the book.
"Though my books are humorous guides, in the end they a have a serious message for women," she said.
She also hopes to change inequalities and stereotypes seen in the workplace and in the media, she said.
James is the director of finance for A&E and the History Channel.
"The media still uphold some funny, outdated stereotypes of women," she said.
James said in commercials, nine out of 10 women are shown at home cleaning the toilet while their husbands are at work.
She said she's received great support.
"Someone told me they couldn't even crack a smile for months after their breakup, and when they read my book, they laughed out loud," she said.
James' fiance also supports her books.
"He thinks my books are funny and a little bit scary," James said.
Not everyone appreciates James' work on women's issues, though. She said men become angry with her, radio hosts give her a hard time and women talk about how off her views are.
Despite the criticism, James continues to write and work toward her goals with enthusiasm. In addition to writing, she speaks at universities and bookstores.
She said her most recent book, The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35, gives women advice on how to deal with the mixed messages they receive every day. The book is due out in March. Her third book, presently untitled, will be in stores in 2006.
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