Balling till he's falling
by Riley Bauling
Daily Lobo
The best thing about sports movies is that you don't have to be a sports fan to like them.
You don't have to be great at basketball to love "Hoosiers." You don't have to be an ape to love "Most Valuable Primate" - huh, Phil?
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But picking only five great sports movies? That's like asking Bill Murray to pick his five favorite hairpieces. Tough, right? So with the hairpiece in "Space Jam" cashing in at No. 1, let's proceed with the five sports movies that should be in everyone's collection.
5. "Rocky III" - The Italian Stallion has the two best fights of any "Rocky" movie when he takes down Thunderlips (Hulk Hogan) and then Clubber Lang (Mr. T). Although their combined intelligence could rival a bag of rocks, Stallone, Hogan and Mr. T more than make up for it with tens on the badass scale.
4. "The Sandlot" - Who didn't want a pair of PF Flyers after this movie? I mean, come on, they make you run faster and jump higher.
Complete with "The Beast" and his owner, James Earl Jones, this movie raised my generation. When "The Jet" stole home to the resonating voice of Smalls, who was wearing the same "the-dude's-a-square-Benny" hat, a smile stretched collectively across the face of everyone in the audience.
3. "Caddyshack" - The Cinderella story of my list and Bill Murray at his best as a grass-smoking-and-growing caddie, this movie drops in at No. 3 because of one scene - well actually two. OK, probably three or even four. But the point is, one of those scenes deserves mention here. I've never laughed harder at a movie than when the Baby Ruth floats across the swimming pool, and the girl yells, "Doody, doody, doody!"
Bill Murray, Chevy Chase and Rodney Dangerfield make up the best comedic triumvirate in any sports flick.
2. "Raging Bull" - It's between this and No. 1 - I might flip-flop on any given occasion. But for now, Robert De Niro and Martin Scorsese are going to have to stomach a close second.
I'll make a bold statement: No boxing movie will ever outdo this one. Jake La Motta steamrolls and jackhammers opponents almost as ruthlessly as he does his wife and brother, and De Niro plays the role of lunatic better than anyone in cinema. See "Taxi Driver."
1. "When We Were Kings" - Amazing. Plain and simple, it's the best sports movie - and top-five material of all time - as much because of its ability to captivate, as the story within the movie.
Although it was shot in 1974 by producer-director Leon Gast, the film wasn't completed until 1996 because the rights to most of it were owned by the Liberians who financed the film.
Writer Norman Mailer's description of how Zaire's dictator, Mobutu Seke Soto, imprisoned thousands of criminals under the "Rumble-in-the-Jungle" ring and stands to prevent any crime while the press was there sends chills up your spine.
I've never seen a more arresting film clip than the one of George Foreman lifting his trainer off the ground as he obliterates an already-weighted punching bag.
Then there's Ali. Pretentious, but beyond hilarious, he is the embodiment of what sports heroes should be. Ali, you're still the champ.
Furious P
by Phil Parker
Daily Lobo
Even though Riley thinks it's unfair to list the best-ever sports flicks before he gets a chance to see "Ice Princess," "Million Dollar Baby's" Oscar assault means this is the perfect time to reflect on a genre that has given us some of the best - "Raging Bull" - and most puke-inducing - "The Fan" - movies of all time.
With apologies to "The Mighty Ducks" and "Air Bud," picked by a certain assistant editor here at the Lobo, these are the five best - and by that I mean my favorite - sports movies ever.
5. "Any Given Sunday" - All right, I hated "Field of Dreams" and despised "Hoosiers," but I loved "Any Given Sunday," which ESPN and Sports Illustrated have both deemed one of the worst sports flicks ever.
Whatever. This is the only movie I've ever seen in the theater three times. It may be unrealistic and over-directed, but it's also insanely entertaining.
The cast, featuring everyone from Al Pacino to Lawrence Taylor, is complete dynamite, and the final game spanning the last 45 minutes is the most exciting sporting event I've ever seen in a fictional film.
4. "When We Were Kings" - Ali is one of the great, dynamic men in history, and this film paints a brilliant picture of the former heavyweight champ with political undertones that give the story a weighty importance.
A chronicle of the 1974 heavyweight championship between Ali, 32 and past his prime, and George Foreman, 10 years younger and considered to be a heavy favorite, is full of rich details and great music. I'll always remember the clip of Foreman slowly bringing his hand back and then delivering crushing, intimidating blows to a body bag. Not that Ali was scared.
3. "Bull Durham" - As classic as they come. I think "Bull Durham's" most endearing trait is that it prominently features a woman - Susan Sarandon's Annie Savoy - who helps the film instead of dragging it down.
From Adrian in "Rocky" to Maggie O'Hooligan in "Caddyshack," and let's not forget the brutal Jo in "Rounders," women in sports movies are more like stains than characters. But Savoy is fully realized and as interesting as she is slutty. It's a great part in a movie that's hilarious and full of detail.
2. "Hoop Dreams" - I'll always remember the first time I saw "Hoop Dreams" in the theater way back in 1994. Even at 13, I wasn't bored for a minute by the almost three-hour documentary. This story of two high school hoops prodigies is raw and edgy in a way no fictional film could ever be.
William Gates and Arthur Agee both grow up much faster than anyone would want to - Gates by first blowing out his knee and then having children too young, Agee by persevering through poverty and pressure from the drugs and gangs that took his father from him for much of his young life.
It's a movie about life more than basketball.
1. "Slap Shot" - Brilliantly directed by the late, great George Roy Hill, "Slap Shot" is a pure joy and the definitive No. 1 here.
Dirty and hilarious, the film is about a down-on-its-luck minor league hockey team, coached by a very loose Paul Newman in one of his best roles.
The team gets a jolt in attendance and wins when it signs up three bespectacled hooligan brothers - the Hansons. They help transform the team from lame-duck losers into foul-mouthed, brawling winners.
It's just one great scene after another, starting with the opening game when an opposing player skates up to Newman and says, "I'm (expletive)-faced. I'm so drunk, if anyone checks me into the boards I'm liable to piss myself."
He does get checked, and does piss himself, and it doesn't get any less entertaining from there.
But while the movie has its nasty moments - when the team's female owner upsets him toward the end of the film, Newman unleashes an instant-classic vulgarity about her young son's sexuality - it's also a very intelligent take on the sad-sack lives led by minor league athletes and their wives.
