Look every other Wednesday for two sports reporters and Riley to sound off about a different topic in the sports world. Basically, because we can. First on our hit list: Fantasy Football. You know, all the fun of reality football without 'roid rage. Here's what we think you should do if you want to win your league for once and have something better to talk about than the wicked time you had at the Journey concert.
Avoid picking a quarterback during first round
by Riley Bauling
Fantasy Football is your crash course in prognostication.
It's ample preparation for its better-known, hotter and more capricious cousin March Madness, but without those pesky upsets that make our brackets look like Olive Oil, and Marge the office assistant's brackets look like Jessica Rabbit.
You all know Marge. She's the one who picks Chad Pennington in the first round of her Fantasy Football league because he has a great jawline the year he also happens to play more like Batman and less like Batgirl.
Now, while Marge is choosing Tom Brady this year because she would pay anything to get lost in his dreamy eyes - why she can't see the half-pipe that is his butt chin is beyond me - here are some tidbits I'll throw out which you can choose to snarf down like a Snack Pack or reject like that guy or girl hitting on you who bears an eerie resemblance to Kim Jong Il.
Do not, no matter how many of those pocket-protector-wearing dorks at ESPN.com tell you it's crafty, take Randy Moss in the first round or, unless you're taking Peyton Manning, take a quarterback.
While some circus clowns will tell you to stay away from quarterbacks at all costs in the first round, relying on Manning to have a 40-touchdown year is like relying on at least one college basketball team a year to get slapped with major NCAA violations.
Moss, on the other hand, is just as likely to catch 20 touchdowns as he is to get caught smoking weed with any of the Raiders' fans, which is to say 50-50.
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Up that same alley with Moss is Terrell Owens - he gets no arrogant moniker here - who should be about as productive this year as Andy Reid on a diet.
Yes, Owens could curl a Volkswagen, but remember him in his last year with San Francisco? Only nine touchdowns. He's had five out of 10 seasons with more than that. Don't pick him.
And heck, avoid Donovan McNabb for that matter too. I'm sure Owens will be tickled pink to try his super-duper hardest every game after ripping McNabb and the Eagles in the media.
Now, here are some players who will get you out of the doldrums of those perpetual Journey conversations.
Your sleeper of the year: Clinton Portis. I suppose he's more like a napper than a sleeper because everyone's pet back, LaDainian Tomlinson, only rushed for 20 yards more than Portis last year.
But nonetheless, if you want to take someone who will make everyone in your league think you've got an ace up your sleeve, Portis is your man.
If you can't snag Tomlinson or Shaun Alexander in the first round, you should still go for another running back in Portis or Willis McGahee.
If you can't get one of those two guys, then I would suggest joining Marge's league, or throwing a tantrum until you get your way. It works with kids, so I'm fairly certain it'll work with adults, although I'm waiting for some research to back that up.
You can think of your top running back as the Bugs Bunny behind the rest of your Looney Tunes. The rest of the gang just isn't that good without your focal guy.
You should draft a running back in the first five picks or else completely abandon whatever game plan you went into the draft with.
The top quarterbacks in my fantasy world are Trent Green, McNabb and Manning. Daunte Culpepper has Nate Burleson to throw to. Um, yeah, hope that works out for you, Daunte.
Green will slip to you in the second round, and if you want to take Moss or Owens in the second round, go for it, you sellout. If you do take that path, take Kerry Collins as your QB in round three.
Every nitwit you're playing with will think Collins is over the hill, and they're right. But finding yourself with him is like finding that authentic G-Unit spinner necklace at the flea market when you were looking for a knockoff.
If you want to win the pool, heed this advice. Speaking of which, I've got to bail.
I think I hear Marge spouting off fantasy wisdom at the water cooler.
Use first week of school to study players' records, stats
by Kristie Boudwin
Set your loyalties aside. It's time for the fantasy draft.
Remember: Just because they are your favorite players does not mean they score the most fantasy points.
I grew up in a town that refers to Brett Favre as football's Jesus. There is no quarterback in the world I could love more, but part of what's exciting about him is that he is inconsistent, and he would not be my first pick because of that.
Sorry, Brett.
Peyton Manning was the perfect 2004 fantasy quarterback. It sounds impossible to beat his quarterback rating or 49 touchdowns last season.
The truth is it is probably impossible. Even for Peyton. He won't do it again.
No quarterback who has scored 40-plus touchdowns has come close to matching it the next season. I would think twice about wasting a first pick on a quarterback, even if it is Peyton Manning.
Running backs score points, too.
Every owner should think hard about securing great running backs in the first couple rounds before drafting a flashy quarterback.
LaDainian Tomlinson, Priest Holmes, Shaun Alexander and Deuce McAllister are the best running backs in the league. They should be the first pick of every list. Unfortunately, unless you find a way to rig the draft, odds are someone will beat you to them.
There are other great backs out there. Ahman Green usually cures his fumble-itis early in the season. Jamal Lewis scores points if he can stay out of jail.
And there are a few that fly under the radar.
Rumor has it there is a Philadelphia star who can catch the ball, run the ball and doesn't have an agent trying to ruin football.
The Eagles' running back Brian Westbrook is a great pick. He averages 4.6 yards-per-carry and he caught more receptions than any other running back last season. If your league awards points for receptions, pick him up early.
I hope you used your syllabus days this first week of school to analyze the sleepers, study records and become a stats junkie. Good luck with the draft.
Patience makes the best fantasy football managers
by Steven Fernandez
Time again for NFL Football, but more importantly, it's Fantasy Football time.
The first question to always ask is who would you take first, if you got lucky enough to have the first pick?
That one is almost a no-brainer: LaDainian Tomlinson. His 17 rushing touchdowns were tops in the league last year, to go along with his 1,335 rushing yards and 441 receiving yards.
Though all of us would love to take Tomlinson, chances are you aren't getting to grab the first pick. However, there are still plenty of big-name backs that can help your team.
Priest Holmes has been one of the top fantasy backs in the past few years, and should have another amazing season after scoring 14 touchdowns in just nine games before suffering an injury last year.
If he is back to full speed, Holmes could even dethrone Tomlinson.
If you can't get Holmes or Tomlinson, try to grab Shaun Alexander (16 touchdowns, 1,696 yards), Edgerrin James (9 touchdowns, 1,548 yards) or Tiki Barber (13 touchdowns, 1,518 yards).
After you pick up your franchise RB, try to select the best quarterback. Chances are Peyton Manning won't throw for 49 touchdowns again, but he is still at the top of the list. Other elite fantasy quarterbacks are Donovan McNabb, Daunte Culpepper, Marc Bulger and Drew Brees. Michael Vick and Tom Brady have won a lot of games, and are great quarterbacks, but neither one puts up big fantasy numbers.
As far as receivers go, there are a few that have been consistent and should have dominant years once again. Marvin Harrison and Randy Moss are clearly the leaders of the pack. Terrell Owens might be a gamble because of his off-the-field problems, but he could have another huge season. Torry Holt puts up big numbers year-in and year-out, and you might also want to go after Chad Johnson or Javon Walker.
If you're not sure which defense to choose and you have an early pick, try going with Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Washington or New England.
As the season approaches, remember to be patient, make smart decisions and you will become the best fantasy general manager you can.
