by John Bear
Daily Lobo
Attention nerds: Imposters lurk in the shadows all around you.
Actually, they lurk in the open as well. Some of them have even worked up the stugats to appear on television.
For reasons I would rather not go into, I was sitting at home late two Saturdays ago idly watching "Mad TV." When the third commercial break ended, one of the comedians said something to the tune of "Now, dancing to their new single off their new album Oh No, OK Go."
Get content from The Daily Lobo delivered to your inbox
At first I didn't really pay that much attention, that is, not until I noticed four guys in plaid cardigans Napoleon Dynamite-dancing to what sounded like bad indie rock.
This led me to two conclusions. One, Napoleon Dynamite - though a great movie - has become far too ingrained in the national consciousness and needs to be destroyed. Two, why is this band dancing and not playing their instruments?
This considerable digression from standard musical performance protocol can be explained by taking a good hard look at the band. Comprised mainly of pretty boys dressed up as nerds, OK Go is obviously a corporate music construct, brought into existence not to further music, but to move units and rake in cash.
Though this band fails to strike one original chord, its sound eludes a specific label. One is tempted to call the music indie rock, though that does a disservice to hardworking indie rock bands everywhere.
At times one could say they pull off a reasonably terrible Weezer hijack. Such a comparison will surely elicit death threats from Rivers Cuomo, but the similarities are there. "The House Wins," the album's sole redeeming track, has the slightly more melodic lyrical sensibilities of Cake sung over the signature Weezer guitar riffing, which sounds like a kazoo as heard from the inside of an electrified garbage can.
OK Go also reminds the listener of a much more giddy version of Cracker and numerous other bands. The transience of their sound suggests they really don't possess one and are ripping off numerous bands in some sneaky attempt to avoid being exposed as the frauds they are.
It makes no sense, however, that they would go to great lengths to concoct a melting pot of different alternative rock clichÇs only to go on national television and dance to their song.
Then again, the sick spectacle I was unfortunately exposed to was just a shameless attempt to show the world how nerdy they are. Napoleon Dynamite is an archetype of nerdom and here they are, strutting their highly choreographed stuff.
And that is the real crime being committed here. Bad music is one thing, but pretending to be a nerd for profit does a grave injustice to nerds everywhere.
If pretty boys begin presenting themselves as nerds, real nerds will suffer the consequences of a flooded market. The relatively small number of women who are attracted to those less cool will conceivably flock toward the more aesthetically pleasing yet wholly illegitimate version.
If this faux-nerd loving goes mainstream, all is lost.
True, a handful of real nerds may experience the busty windfall of this neo-urban-faux-nerd invasion, but more than likely the number will be nominal. Nerds will remain involuntarily celibate while hordes of shameless trend-worshippers loudly proclaim, "Look at me. I'm uncool. Have sex with me, beautiful."
Don't buy this album. If you do, nerds will continue to suffer indefinitely under the yolk of jock tyranny.
Only now, the oppressor wears the same argyle socks.
