It's true. In certain cases, prayers are better left unanswered.
Such is the case of Isiah Lord Thomas III.
Thomas has been given a chance at redemption.
Tuesday, news broke that he will be named head coach at Florida International University. He will replace Sergio Ruoco after five straight losing seasons. Replacing a loser with a loser?
The only question I can ask is this: Why, Lord?
Why would any college basketball program even consider hiring Thomas? As legendary as he is as a player, Thomas has only been more incompetent as a coach and general manager than Michael Jordan. Thomas makes Jordan's first-overall pick of Kwame "Heir Apparent" Brown look less abominable.
Get content from The Daily Lobo delivered to your inbox
Look at Thomas' track record.
He turned Madison Square into the Garden of Eden. He was given God-like powers and banished the Knicks from ever reaching the NBA Finals - except the Knicks' management didn't eat from the Tree of Knowledge quickly enough.
As president of basketball operations, at the end of 2005-06, the Thomas-led Knickerbockers were grossly overpaid. New York had the league's highest payroll and the second-worst record. (That's one of my theories why the economy's in the dumps. That, and another New Yorker name George Steinbrenner.)
Thomas coaxed Stephon "I Make Cigarettes Seem Healthy" Marbury from Phoenix. He traded away picks in a talent-laden draft to bring in Eddy Curry, who has less heart than the Tin Man. Thomas then ladled in a pinch of Allen Iverson Jr. in Jamal Crawford.
And when all was said and done, after his tenure was finished as general manager, he replaced a hall-of-fame coach in Larry Brown in order to coach his cast of misfits. How is it responsible of FIU to appoint a former GM to be its head coach? Essentially, as a college basketball coach, you are a CEO. You are responsible for recruiting your players and coaching them to your liking. Everything is run as you see fit.
And in New York, Thomas had his flunkies.
What happened? Marbury's alien head grew three sizes that day. He clashed with Thomas, and Thomas was ill-equipped to deal with a disgruntled Starbury, whose shine grew steadily less iridescent by the watt hour.
Marbury's knuckleheaded stubbornness grew cancerous, and Thomas had no idea how to turn things around. In turn, Thomas and the Knicks made history - of the wrong sort. Under his guidance, the Knicks tied a franchise-worst with 59 losses in the 2008 campaign.
But that wasn't it.
Mixed in with all this, Thomas made TNT, the network that hosts NBA basketball games, seem like they knew little about drama.
In 2006, Thomas and the Knicks' organization got slapped with a sexual harassment suit by Anucha Browne Sanders, in which Sanders made scathing allegations about Thomas. The case went to trial in September 2007, and the Knicks were found liable for Thomas' actions. Under oath, Thomas admitted to calling Sanders a "bitch." Sanders got her check - all $11.6 million of it.
Thomas maintained his innocence.
"I did not do the things she has accused me in this courtroom of doing," he said.
But he has never taken blame.
In October 2008, Thomas was admitted to the hospital after overdosing on Lunesta. Bizarrely, Thomas blamed his 17-year-old daughter and tried to cover up the incident, saying she was the one who needed medical attention, according to police official David Hall.
"Why they're throwing her under the bus is beyond my ability to understand," Hall was quoted as saying.
Because, with Isiah, if the wheels on the bus don't go round and round, instead of fessing up, he just trucks over people.
FIU should drop its Golden nickname and become the Panthers. They'll be forced to anyway, because Isiah is inverse alchemy - he turns precious gold into worthless metals. That's why I expect him to be on the coaching carousel as soon as next year.
