Do you have stress? Stupid question, right? We all have stress. Do you want stress? Probably not. Although stress isn’t always a bad thing – pressure can make you produce, and sometimes you have to produce – it can harm you, too. From neck pain to strokes, the negative effects of stress are many.
I offer you the following physical and mental pearls for instant stress reduction.
These sound like temporary fixes, but if you practice them over and over you will find you feel better in the long run. These suggestions require nothing but your own body and mind.
First, how do you know you have stress? This is a serious question. What does stress feel like in your body? Is it a clenched jaw? Hunched shoulders? A knotted stomach? Shallow breathing? Everyone feels it differently, although a common denominator is usually muscle tension somewhere.
Once you have identified your body’s unique stress expression, place your awareness there, wherever it is. Just turn your attention to that tense body part. How does it feel? Often, simply resting your attention on a tense muscle begins to help it soften. Now keep your mind there and take a few slow breaths. Imagine the breath actually going into whatever muscle area you are attending to. Allow the shoulders to drop, the jaw to open, the tense muscle to relax. Take another deep breath and blow that tension away. Repeat early and often.
Other stress solutions include stretching and moving. Even sitting down, you can do brief stretches that make a big difference. Here are a few examples. Let your neck drop forward and roll it gently around in a circle. Put your hands behind your head and lean back over your chair. Fold yourself in half at the waist and let your body bend, dangling your hands by your feet. Look up from your work at frequent intervals and focus your eyes far away to give your eyes a break.
Physical activity is a wonderful stress reliever. Go for a run, hit the gym, play a game of pick up Frisbee or soccer, even take a short walk. Anything is better than nothing. Even a simple lap around the stacks in the library can shake you loose.
To sum up the physical stress busters: notice, soften, stretch, move.
Those familiar with Buddhism and Alcoholics Anonymous might recognize this wisdom. Consider this. If you weren’t thinking about the exam or paper or overdue bill, you wouldn’t be as stressed about it, right? So don’t think about it. I know it is not nearly that easy. But it is that simple.
How much of your thought is spent fretting about something that has already happened or worrying about something that might happen? Most of us spend most of our time mentally absent from the here and now, busily ruminating over the past or obsessing about the future. What’s the point? If it already happened, it’s over. You can’t change it now.
If it hasn’t happened, the same thing mostly applies. Unless you can affect the outcome of whatever it is you’re anticipating, you don’t know how it is going to go down. The various possibilities in your mind will only wear you out. Have you ever had the experience of dreading something for days, only to have it turn out totally fine? All that worry was for nothing, right? Imagine those unpleasant hours that could have been joyful instead.
How do you go about bringing your mind into the now? Use your senses. When you notice that your mind is fretting, put your attention on your body. Feel your feet on the ground. Look at something, anything, and examine the details. Listen to the sounds around you. Stop and smell the flowers. It sounds corny but it works. This is the part that comes from Buddhism. Meditation, famous now for its health benefits, is basically focused attention on the here and now. What I am suggesting are mini meditations.
The other mental bad habit most of us have is confusing what we can control and what we cannot. When you think about it, you’ll see that most of what happens in our lives is out of our control. That idiot driver who cut you off? There is nothing you can do to change him, and if you think giving him the finger will improve his driving, imagine if the roles were reversed.
The exam date next week? The calendar won’t change just because you are freaked out. And your dearly beloved, who is being impossible — even you can’t control his or her actions or speech. The only entity over which you have control in this life is you. If that sounds hopeless, try a different view. You can control your own thoughts and actions, and that gives you enormous power in your own life.
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When you are feeling stressed, examine the situation, identify the factors you can control and separate them from those you can’t. Then decide what you will do about the things you can control. You can control your own actions and you can control your own thoughts.
For example, you are stressed about an upcoming exam. Your friend has invited you to go out tonight. You can choose to stay in and study so you’ll be better prepared for the exam. That will probably make you feel less stressed. Or you can choose to go out. Maybe you need a break. You decide.
This matter of control and choice can be applied to your mind, too. If you find your mind gnawing repeatedly on something in the past or future, or something you can’t control, patiently remove that thing and replace it with something else to think about. It is like having a puppy who chews things he shouldn’t. One way to train the puppy is to gently remove the shoe from the puppy’s mouth and replace it with a chew toy. No, Spot, don’t chew that. Chew this instead. Eventually the puppy learns what to chew and what to — pardon me — eschew. You too can train your mind to let go of thoughts that harm you and replace them with thoughts that help.
You have a lot more power than you think. This is good news. Use it well.
Peggy Spencer is a board-certified family physician. She has been a UNM Student Health physician for 17 years, and a Daily Lobo contributing columnist for three years. She is co-author of the book 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, released in March 2008.
Drop your questions into her box in the lobby of Student Health and Counseling, or e-mail her directly at pspencer@unm.edu. All questions will be considered, and all questioners will remain anonymous. This column has general health information only and cannot replace a visit to a health provider.
