SHAC opens retirement center to accommodate wait times
Maddie Pukite | April 1The average age of students on campus is increasing to 190, meanwhile, Student Health and Counseling wait times are increasing as well. To accommodate the wait, SHAC opened retirement centers last Friday for students and has allegedly started an experimental drug trial in hopes of finding an anti-aging property. The issue began on April 3, 2023 when four students all entered the waiting room at the same time for sprained ankles. Maria Barker, an injured student, said all hell broke loose when a box of a thousand unidentifiable tablet-sized medications fell off a shelf.