Readers, let us join hands, gather around the table and contemplate the holiday season.
Thanksgiving is but a day away, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t take the opportunity to express my gratitude for three unfolding events in the sportsphere.
I doubt I’m alone in saying that this is something we can all be thankful for — the UNM football team’s season is mercifully winding to a conclusion:
The moribund Lobos close out another carnage-filled year against third-ranked TCU on Saturday at University Stadium.
Not being a BCS expert, I did a little online legwork to find out if the Horned Frogs have a vested interest in pummeling the Lobos. What I found is this: The BCS is composed of six interactive polls, but the polls are no longer mathematically modeled to incorporate margin of victory when calculating rankings.
The BCS did away with that system in 2002, abandoning use of polls that factored in margin of victory. So, in the strictest sense, no, TCU doesn’t have an obligation to baste the Lobos like a Thanksgiving turkey.
Some food for thought, though: In a column published Nov. 16, the New York Times’ William Rhoden lamented the recent crush of indifference to sports commandments, chiefly sportsmanship and empathy for opponents, and indicted the BCS system for the trend. And I agree with Rhoden — the BCS unofficially signs off on this punish-the-puny doctrine.
These days, when it comes to mercy, college football exempts itself from the rule.
Look no further than the Lobos’ what-just-happened, 72-0 season-opening loss to Oregon. For our purposes, let’s call this phenomenon conspicuous conquest: The mighty maraud the meek in a showboatist, muscle-flexing display to curry favor with voters.
To understand the trend, you must understand the ballot culture.
As Rhoden pointed out, TCU lost ground weeks ago in the BCS poll when beating San Diego State only by five points. Much like the Romans, BCS-armed electors want to see vicious Saturday crucifixions.
Knowing that (and I’m sure TCU head coach Gary Patterson is cognizant of it), if I were Patterson, I’d put a third digit on University Stadium’s scoreboard, especially since head coach Mike Locksley has, so far, failed to deliver on that promise. If there’s any good news for the Lobos, the meek shall inherit the Earth. Whatever that means.
First off, a round of applause is in order for the NFL’s most dysfunctional dynasties, the Dallas Cowboys:
Get content from The Daily Lobo delivered to your inbox
Thank you, Wade Phillips, son of a Bum, for helping my Cowboys to a 1-7 start. Yes, we have since won two straight games, but gracias, Jerry Jones, for not channeling your inner Al Davis and allowing Phillips to run roughshod over the Cowboys for four weeks too long (and, yes, that’s sarcasm).
More than anybody else, Jones is to blame for Dallas’ dismal start, and he’s the reason why we’ll miss the playoffs this year.
The ego-absorbed general mis-manager made no bones about running off (winning) combative coaches (See Jimmy Johnson and Bill Parcells) and replacing them with marionettes. Phillips is more spineless than a jelly fish. He ran Camp Cupcake, and he didn’t believe in accountability. I’m surprised Phillips’ children didn’t turn out to be more like Andy Reid’s glorious, drugged-up sons. If Phillips parents like he coaches … well, I’m going to choose not to finish that sentence.
OK, on a serious note, even though I’m a Romosexual, I have to give props to Jon Kitna — and boyish interim coach Jason Garret — for guiding the Cowboys to our last two wins.
Kitna looks more like a skinhead, high school geometry teacher, and Garret is more known for being Hall of Fame QB Troy Aikman’s redheaded stepchild backup, but you can’t argue with success — however insignificant it is in the NFL cosmos.
If this is the result of Heat-of-the-moment Decisions, I’m all for them:
All offseason, sports pundits and basketball analysts were like female dogs in Heat, fawning over Chris Bosh and LeBron James’ simultaneous arrival in Miami. Highlighting only some of the asinine predictions, ESPN analyst Jeff Van Gundy postulated that the Heat would challenge the Michael Jordan-led Chicago Bulls’ record-setting, regular-season win total (72).
The super star pair was supposed to aid Dwyane Wade in making the Heat title contenders. So far, those grand hypotheses haven’t supported preliminary experiment results.
Miami is a paltry 8-6 — and I couldn’t be happier. Like so many others, I, too, was averse to South Beach Sidekick spurning Cleveland to indulge his LeBronze soul. If all that starts well ends well, Miami’s coach Erik Spoelstra will get replaced midseason; Pat Riley will succeed him, and the Heat will be eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. Then we’ll have an offseason to admonish Riley’s Decision instead of James’.
