Editor,
One of my most painful, hazy early-childhood memories makes me especially aware of how violent I, or anyone, can be.
I was about 5 years old and in a temper tantrum. I went to the pantry of our Illinois farm home and I got the large butcher knife to frighten, threaten or harm my mother.
I am glad she did not curse me, spank me or beat me afterward, but I wish she had taken my rage more seriously. I wish she had held me firmly in her arms, assuring me of her love for me and her understanding of my anger, while at the same time controlling my violent impulse, holding me tight until my rage passed, whether for 15 minutes or three hours, not hitting me and not allowing me to injure her. Maybe she did some of this — I do not remember clearly.
One of our worst fears is not being able to control our violent impulses, especially toward our closest loved ones. This memory has haunted me, hounded me and humbled me through the years.
None of us is immune to killing someone, even a long-time loved one, in a moment of insane rage. If anyone could have told Judge Gerald Cole years ago in his Albuquerque courtroom that he would kill his wife and himself on Aug. 13, 2005, how could he have believed it?
We all are capable of terrifying violence. Because I know that about myself and because I aim to live nonviolently toward all people, I refuse to own a gun or to drink booze. I condemn glamorized murder, rape, jealousy, revenge, addiction to money, unnecessary possessions and war in many movies, books, songs and TV programs.
Why poison our minds? I refuse to make it easier for me to commit the violence I abhor.
Don Schrader
Daily Lobo reader
