Editor,
In the past few day, I have noticed the strong backlash against the UNM Women’s Resource Center for their recent implementation of “Sex Week,” a week of sexual health events on campus and at Self Serve.
In writing my support for the WRC’s event, I wanted to take a few minutes to explain the positive outcomes of sexual education for young adults and how learning to talk about sex in positive and respectful ways actually fosters healthier, safer relationships (and not just the sexual ones).
For centuries, women and men have been taught how to play “the game” when it comes to sex, love and relationships. We’ve all heard of the rules: wait three days to call someone back; women should play hard-to-get (for fear of being called a derogatory slur); men should check their emotions (for fear of being called another derogatory slur); when a woman says “no,” she really means “yes;” men should be the ones to initiate any sexual relationship; men bring the condoms, etc.
This confusing, complicated game not only ensures the continuation of harmful gender binaries (i.e. women should repress their sexuality, or men must stifle their emotions), it also fosters an environment that makes it difficult to decipher what either party actually wants in a sexual relationship. The lack of discourse regarding how to broach topics on sex within intimate relationships — such as STI testing, method of contraception and consent — ultimately promotes unwanted and/or dangerous health risks while creating a very gray area of ambiguous sexual consent.
This ambiguity engenders opportunities for misinterpretation or even violation of consent. In order to combat this convention of consensual confusion and censorship of healthy sexual discourse, the discussion of what sexual consent is — as well as what it is not — is of utmost importance.
Part of the impetus for this event was concern over campus sexual assaults not just at UNM, but all around the country. There have been debates over the use of statistics regarding sexual assault, particularly the disbelief that around one out of four women will experience a sexual assault while in college (it is important to note here that sexual assault encompasses a broad net of crimes, not just rape).
A part of this statistical increase is certainly due to the rising number of reports. As people feel more comfortable discussing sex and sexual assault, it follows that more people will feel comfortable reporting the sexual crimes against them (a difficult process that has carried a persistent stigma against those who report). This growing discourse about sex and sexual assault has helped create a space for men and women to feel more comfortable discussing not only negative sexual experiences, but also the positive ones — both of which discussions help individuals and our society at large.
Discussing sex as a campus and a community is extremely beneficial to UNM and Albuquerque by creating avenues of conversation that broach issues of consent, trust and respect, as well as desires and needs. By fostering a positive and healthy approach to sex and sexual education while lifting the taboo of speaking about sex in general, we help both men and women create safer, more pleasurable sexual experiences and relationships.
It is important to note that discussing sex in a positive way is not designed to push people into sexual activity — rather, it promotes a healthy, respectful and safe sexual experience for those who choose to participate in sexual relationships.
By creating a week-long, sex-positive educational event at UNM, the Women’s Resource Center attempted to invite students and the community to join this growing discourse, breaking conventions of silence surrounding sex and sexuality in a healthy, safe capacity. Much of the community backlash and online trolling seems to be directed toward the choice of wording, such as event titles.
This is a misunderstanding between an organization and the general public over rhetoric that may be seen as unfamiliar or even offensive, ultimately alienating the very people WRC should hope to reach with their event.
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However, Sex Week was by no means designed to objectify women or increase sexual activity among college students — just as sexual education in public schools does not send teenagers into sexual frenzies. In fact, such misunderstandings reflect the necessity to educate the community on sex positivity and healthy sexual discourse. Finding a way to create advertising that is accessible to the public, while also exhibiting sex positivity, would be a helpful future endeavor of the WRC.
All in all, the WRC has opened the floor for sexual education — an arena that the state of New Mexico severely needs. Most New Mexico middle-school students receive only a few weeks of sexual education in the seventh grade, and a few more weeks tacked on in high school.
Many parents feel uncomfortable talking to their children about sex, or may not have the tools to initiate the discussion (though there are certainly some awesome ones that do). The UNM Women’s Resource Center has created a shame-free, sex-positive sexual-education event to foster a healthy sexual discourse within a safe environment, and for that I support them.
Sincerely,
Kelsey Martin
graduate student
