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Ask the Eds - relationship

Ask the editors: How do you show love to your loved ones?


With another Valentine's Day week coming to a close, we find chocolate wrappers tossed in trash cans and roses slowly drying under the sun. Six editors at the Daily Lobo came together to reflect on how we show love to those around us. 

Time shared over a meal 

As someone whose primary love language is quality time, I let the people in my life know that I love them by existing around them as much as I can. Having the ability to exist in the same space as another person without feeling anxious, performative or uncomfortable is precious. 

Likewise, being able to create a space for people to be themselves around me is a gift from the heart. One way I do this is by inviting people over for movie nights or cooking nights. One of my happiest memories is having a cultural food night with friends. We spent that time talking about our first memories eating our respective cultural meals, reminiscing about how we watched our moms prepare the food and how the smell of the food made us feel. There are many ways to love and show love. 

Katrina Estrada is the Photo Editor at the Daily Lobo. They can be contacted at  on Twitter @Katrina_Est4

Through the capacities of love 

Whether someone is my platonic friend, romantic interest or close relative, I like to think I’m pretty well rounded when it comes to showing my love. But I want to back up a bit – love is a short word filled with so much meaning and nuance that surrounds it. I love my cat, but not in the way that I love the sun after a week of rain. I love my family, but not in the way that I love eating sweets. Reminding myself that there are many ways to love and so many different things to love gives me the knowledge that I can also express it in various ways. One day, I may show my love by listening – truly listening to others; the next, I may find myself cooking or baking. 

To love is to fill another's cup, with the knowledge that they may or may not give the same in return. Love is fluid and evolving. When I truly boil it down, I find that giving time is how I share these emotions. Listening to someone’s favorite song or reading their favorite book are the ways in which I best show my love.

Karina Bolaños is the Culture Editor at the Daily Lobo. They can be contacted at 

Company and conversations 

The ways I show those around me that I love and care about them are in the actions I carry out. I thought that while writing this, I’d find a few love letters or notes of gratitude, but I have little to document my appreciation. Most of the ways I show those I care about are in the fleeting conversations laced in between cups of hot coffee, long conversations that need to be hashed out or announcements that have to be spoken to become real. I try my best to reciprocate the ways those around me show me love, and I am always most grateful for someone who will just listen. 

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I like to be the person I know my friends can count on: dependable and sincere. Whether it is a ride to the grocery store or an early morning drop-off at the airport. I show those around me I care about them by trying to form a community and put in the time whenever I can. It’s easy to get caught up in being alone, but love is best shown when you go out of your way to find company. 

Maddie Pukite is the editor-in-chief at the Daily Lobo. They can be contacted at on Twitter @maddogpukite 

Value in the unspoken 

I can never answer the question “what’s your love language?” simply. Every time, without fail, I explain quite seriously that I’m fond of every way love can be given.

But if we become friends, you’ll have a new stuffed animal within a month.

One of my worst-kept secrets is my Notes app note labeled “GIFTS,” – featuring a bulleted list of the people I care for and the things they’ve mentioned wanting or that I think they’d like. Some items have been on the list for over a year – the result of too many ideas and too little money. Some stuff I’m willingly saving for when I have a more stable income. 

It’s not about materialism. Or proving anything, or expecting anything. A lot of the time, it’s not even about the gifts themselves. I see a lot of value in the unspoken: the quiet gestures that show I’m paying attention to what people mention only in passing.

But really. I do adore all types of expressions of love, but everyone deserves a good quality teddy bear.

Lily Alexander is the news editor for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at or on Twitter @llilyalexander

Support in the mundane 

Mundane gestures tend to hold a lot of significance. Even the smallest acts can represent that you’re on someone’s mind and that, in dozens of different ways, they want to take care of you. 

When it comes to those I treasure the most, I want to do things that make their life easier or their day a little brighter – tidying up their space, making them a cup of tea or driving them around town and letting them be on aux. If there’s an errand that they’ve been putting off, I would love to do it for them.

Nothing beats that feeling of appreciation and relief when someone notices your cup needs to be filled. 

To me, it represents my investment in them and my willingness to put in effort towards their wellbeing. Being attentive to their needs and taking the time to notice the little things can say more about a relationship than words, although some affirmations sprinkled in makes my heart sing. 

Kelsa Mendoza is the copy editor at the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at or on Twitter at @kelsar4in.

Love through listening 

I express love quietly and subtly. I don’t believe that everybody fits into a box of love languages, or at least I don’t. I love to give and receive words of affirmation, and of course I enjoy quality time with my friends, but love can be more complex than that. It’s an accumulation of a million tiny actions and conversations. 

When I love someone, I want them to feel heard, and I want them to be the best version of themself. If a friend has conflict in their life, I will actively listen and hear every part of their story. I will make sure that they know that their feelings on the situation are valid. If there’s something that they can do better to improve the situation, though, I tell them gently. To love is to know and appreciate someone at their best and at their worst, and to encourage them to be their best as often as possible. 

Lauren Lifke is the managing editor for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at or on Twitter @lauren_lifke

Katrina Estrada

 Katrina Estrada is the photo editor at the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at or on Twitter @Katrina_Est4  

Lauren Lifke

 Lauren Lifke is the managing editor for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at or on Twitter @lauren_lifke 

Lily Alexander

 Lily Alexander is the news editor for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at or on Twitter @llilyalexander 

Maddie Pukite

Maddie Pukite is the 2023-2024 editor of the Daily Lobo. 

Kelsa Mendoza

 Kelsa Mendoza is the copy editor at the Daily Lobo. She can be reached atcopychief@dailylobo.comor on Twitter at @kelsar4in.

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