Paul Pierce should be thanking his lucky four-leafed clovers he's a basketball player.
After being fined $25,000 by the NBA for making "menacing gestures" at Atlanta Hawks' power forward Al Horford during last season's NBA playoffs, Pierce's explanation was it was a sign for "blood, sweat and tears."
Yeah, OK, Paul - I believe you. But if you were an NFL player and my name was Roger Goodell, I'd probably slap you with a suspension and send you off to the nearest house of ill repute to provide the thunder to Adam "Pacman" Jones' Amazon-like rain water.
That's right, no more "menacing gestures" in the NFL. Commissioner Goodell is making sure of that - the league has employed a new task force to crack down on the gangs of the gridiron.
I find this to be somewhat humorous - a panel of white guys searching for gang signs thrown up by mostly African Americans. Yes, I know, I'm speculating that the panel will consist of mainly white males, but spare me for a second or two. This just doesn't make any sense. Not to generalize, but aren't most gang lines are drawn along the racial divide? Isn't it true people congregate to gangs who have a majority of members of their own race? In other words, you wouldn't see a white guy, unless your name is Eminem, in a black gang. So why does it make sense for white people to interpret the alleged gang signs of African Americans? Wouldn't it be best for former gang members to differentiate and interpret "gang signs?" By the way, in my 19 years of watching the NFL, never have I seen any player throw up a gang sign.
Memo to all starting NFL quarterbacks: Think twice before calling an audible.
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All right guys, sorry for being so cynical. Truth be told, I think this is a good idea. I just hope Commissioner Goodell doesn't take this too far, to the point where certain colors that are traditionally associated with gangs are banished. Sorry, but no matter how you spin it, tickle-me-pink, sky blue and pastels don't belong in the NFL or on any players' uniforms.
My guess is with the institution of these experts, I'd expect the Oakland Raiders to be disbanded by this time next year. I don't know how true this is, but rumor has it that some Broncos fan got stabbed to death in the Black Hole. That sounds like a gang in itself. Oakland better win the Super Bowl this year, otherwise I'd say that organization is toast.
Speaking of the Super Bowl, I wonder how Javon Walker would respond if the Raiders did happen to win. Normally, players spray each other with champagne after winning the biggest event in sports. But judging by the way Walker's last two champagne campaigns turned out, I'm not so sure he'd pop the top - at least not without looking over his shoulder. Don't worry, Javon, those guys that beat you in Las Vegas are in custody. And, on a side note, I'm not picking the Raiders to win the Super Bowl.
Since Goodell has outlawed those oh-so-fun hand gestures, can he please do me a favor and get rid of the no-dance policy in the NFL? It's bull. Somewhere, some executive of "Dancing with the Stars" is counting his prospective dollars. For those of you who are wondering why so many players decide to do the show, you have your answer. It's the only place they can cut some rug without cutting a check for a fine. Please, ABC, if you want to make bucketloads of cash, call Terrell Owens. Then team him up with Nicolette Sheridan. That'd be a classic in the making. Never mind. I forgot it's a family show.
No gang signs, no dancing and no Brett Favre. This is really turning into the "no fun league."
