Albion W. Tourgee, a pioneer civil-rights activist in the late 1800s, once said, "Jesus Christ was a carpetbagger."
If only he could have met Terrell Eldorado Owens.
Owens is the ultimate carpetbagger. Much like the people of the Reconstruction Era that the term was used to describe, Owens invades teams as an outsider, infiltrates the organization and then tries to assume authority.
It's exactly what he did in Dallas - and he'll try to do it in Buffalo, too. He's done it his whole career.
Sadly, I'm in love with a carpetbagger. I waited several months to eulogize T.O.'s departure, except today I must expose the much-maligned receiver for what he is.
For me, emotionally, this is like having a wife and a girlfriend on the side and having to tell one of them that I can't love her anymore. That if I continue to, I risk only hurting myself. I love T.O., but I love the Cowboys more.
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Still, I must acknowledge the infatuation and lust I had for Owens.
I'll always remember T.O.'s stint in Dallas, how he said to "Getcha popcorn ready" at the press conference introducing him as a Cowboy.
Indeed, it was a show - a three-ring circus show. What T.O. didn't seem to understand was that it wasn't his show. Unless he can take the snap at the line of scrimmage, drop back and launch a perfect ball to himself, the NFL isn't about wide receivers. It's about quarterbacks.
That's probably why the prima-dona persona has become a synonymous with being a wide receiver. Receivers' egos developed out of a veiled jealousy of the quarterback.
So, if a receiver isn't getting the ball, he figures he can humiliate his quarterback on the sideline. It's a way of getting back at the true star, the centerfold of the NFL. It isn't sexy to be split out wide.
Even the worst quarterbacks in the league get more props than hall-of-fame wide receivers. Dan Marino never won a Super Bowl, yet we constantly invoke his name. Joe Namath's stats aren't exceptional, but he achieved prominence by delivering on a guarantee that his Jets would beat Don Shula's Colts in Super Bowl III. And Rex Grossman, by far one of the worst quarterbacks to play football's most-glorified position, was even introduced as Sexy Rexy by Mushin Muhammad during one of the Bears' Monday Night Football games.
It's great to be boss, huh?
On the other hand, receivers are ridiculed. We remember Michael Irvin for his coke-powdered nose, hotel escapades and mink coats in the summer more than his phenomenal career.
T.O., too, despite his iron-cast physique that suggests his hyperbaric chamber is really the Fountain of Youth, is the face of controversy. Rightly, so, maybe - but still.
I don't really blame T.O. as much as I blame his owners. Like I said, Owens is a carpetbagger. The best way to deal with a carpetbagger is to relegate him to a one-year contract.
If T.O. knows his money isn't guaranteed and that he can't act out, he'll do what he did in 2007 after the Cowboys bowed out in the NFC Divisional round to the Giants. He'll act accordingly, even cry for his quarterback. But once T.O. has his bills promised, he turns into 50 Cent.
50 made a killing by giving us somewhat-palatable content on his first CD. When he found out he could get away with corny lyrics and songs like "Candy Shop", 50 Cent chose to mail it in and record a track where he boasts about laughing straight to the bank. And we bought it up.
T.O. did the same thing in Dallas. The only difference between him and 50 Cent is that T.O. actually has talent.
Once Jerry Jones gave him a multi-year contract extension in 2008, Owens whined about getting 19 looks in a game. He moaned that Tony Romo and Jason Garrett were conspiring against him. That Romo didn't look for him as much as he did Jason Witten, and that the two were drawing up plays on napkins behind his back.
Now Owens is in Buffalo.
Coincidentally, unlike the carpetbaggers of the Reconstruction Era, T.O. moved from the south to the north.
But, true to form, T.O. will continue to be T.O. - the world's most successful carpetbagger.
