Taxing the ‘wastrels’ a clear solution to economic recession

Editor,

I’ve spent most of my time these days staring at the cat and weeping.
You see, I’m worried sick about the people who earn over $200,000 a year.

These people are the most productive members of our society. They own small businesses, and they have created scads of jobs in recent year in places like Bangladesh. There are only about 200 such individuals in New Mexico, and they are all friends of mine and former Gov. Bill Richardson.

I feel such a sense of outrage about this injustice that I have developed a counter-proposal that has so much incredible positive merit that it just makes me tremble to think about it.

Let’s not tax these fantastically productive and creative citizens who are all probably college graduates. Let’s tax the unemployed! There are about 2 million of these unproductive louts who are just standing around doing nothing but sucking up space. If these bums had any merit or talent, the rich, productive folks would have hired them long ago.

Instead, these wastrels just keep on collecting government checks and driving up the national debt. These lazy dope smokers should be contributing to society!

Taxing the unemployed has two distinct advantages. No. 1, these unemployed hippies can’t afford to hire tax attorneys and accountants to defend themselves, so it’s quite simple to collect their tax dollars.

No. 2, if we tax them hard enough, perhaps they will stop using up valuable resources, such as food and air. They will just fade away and stop bothering us.

After all, this is America, so let’s get in the holiday spirit and tax the unemployed this happy season. Merry Christmas, and ho-ho-ho, everyone!