For many, smoking weed and food are synonymous with one another.
With 4/20 getting closer, there are plenty of places to get your eat on when the munchies hit, especially near campus.
As a self-proclaimed food savant, I will take you through the five best places to eat while stoned.
But first...
Honorable mentions
Frontier
Frontier, a restaurant that primarily offers New Mexican food, has been featured in publications such as the New York Times, USA Today and GQ Magazine, all of which hail the establishment as one of the best in the city. Frontier has also been featured on Man vs. Food Nation, a television show on Travel Channel.
So it almost goes without saying that the restaurant is good. The sweet rolls are heavenly. The tortillas, in their own unique way, are awesome. And the breakfast burrito — which has bacon, eggs, hash browns, cheese and green chile — is also tasty.
However, as a lifelong New Mexican, I can easily name five better places to get your local breakfast fix — all of which are outside the vicinity of this article which is focusing on the best places near campus.
Standard Diner
Standard Diner, which is about a five-minute drive west of campus, is an awesome spot to grab a bite while stoned. The atmosphere in the restaurant, although it usually features a frequent amount of customers, is awesome. The lighting in the restaurant makes it that way, and the food it serves only adds to that delight.
One of my favorite dishes at Standard Diner is the “Not so Standard” patty melt, which is made with rye bread, cheddar and gruyère cheese, caramelized onions and roasted garlic aioli, and is served with a side of fries. However, instead of normal fries, I’d suggest opting for the parmesan truffle fries...fantastic pairing.
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Without further ado, here are the top five places to eat while stoned:
No. 5, Cheba Hut
Cheba Hut is a hot spot for a quick eat and a good tasting sandwich. Once inside the restaurant, it is easy to tell the eatery is trying to cater to the everyday stoner. The menu uses stoner terms for its sandwich sizes and even cooler names for its sandwiches. For example, a four-inch sandwich is called a “nug,” an eight-inch referred to as a “pinner” and the 12-inch is coined as a “blunt.”
In my opinion, the best tasting sandwich at Cheba Hut is the AK-47, which is the restaurant’s take on the classic French dip. Inside, the sandwich comes packed with roast beef, portabello mushrooms, red onions and provolone cheese. As far as bread goes, you can choose between white, whole wheat and garlic herb. The latter is my go-to. It also comes with its own side of au jus, which is an absolutely phenomenal dipping sauce for the sandwich.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve eaten that sandwich, and it hits the spot every single time. Some other good items on the menu are the White Widow (chicken and ranch sandwich) and the chocolate chip cookie, which you should always get toasted.
If you go on a Monday, bring your UNM student ID card, as a Cheba Hut promotion includes free chips and a drink with the purchase of a sandwich.
No. 4, Tia B’s La Waffleria
Hidden away from the lively atmosphere of Nob Hill, Tia B’s La Waffleria sits around the crossroads of Carlisle and Campus Boulevard. As the name suggests, waffles are the staple of the restaurant’s menu and are hard to resist when eating there.
You can get everything from a biscuits and gravy waffle to waffle rancheros and even a Bombay coconut waffle, which is made with coconut and rice flour, drizzled with mango puree, sprinkled with toasted coconuts and topped with cardamom-coconut whipped cream.
Basically, the waffles they make — which are pretty unique — are catered to your everyday stoner.
No. 3, Slice Parlor
Such a simple food, but always so, so delicious.
Pizza, by far one of my favorite foods, is what Slice Parlor serves to its customers, as well as other menu options as well. It is located in Nob Hill, which is basically right next to UNM.
You can pick up almost any slice of pizza for less than $5, with rare exceptions, and it tastes good every time. My favorite at Slice Parlor is the “Zia Slice,” which is the basic New Mexican pizza — pepperoni and green chile. For an extra stoner deluxe edition, a side of their house-made ranch fits perfectly for dipping the pizza itself.
And its food is consistent every time. Not only does this restaurant have delicious pizza, the atmosphere is pretty laid back too. There are TVs that usually show sports, while you can also enjoy a beer and wine of your choice. There’s also a bunch of art on the wall, which you can purchase.
It is usually a good idea to immerse yourself in a comfortable setting while stoned. Slice Parlor is exactly that.
No. 2, El Patio
OK, ladies and gentlemen.
Remember I said I can list like five better places to grab a “New Mexican” breakfast than Frontier? Well, this is one of those places — and it’s like a 30-second walk from Frontier and right across the street from Cheba Hut.
Not only does the chile — red and green — have a distinct New Mexican taste (I am a chile snob), their papas are to die for. If you are a stoner who’s really into just eating a good breakfast — or lunch, because they serve that too — then this is a place you should try.
What is more New Mexican than lighting up a king size joint of Girl Scout cookies and then going to eat some bomb New Mexican food? Literally nothing.
Oh, and did I mention that there are a bunch of vegetarian options on the menu too...and that El Patio is pet friendly? Yeah, it’s cool like that.
No. 1, Kabob House
And finally, we reach the No.1 spot. Kabab House, which serves Persian food — and kabobs — is the place to eat after taking a dab or two or three.
Located on Cornell Drive, the restaurant is a hidden gem of sorts, nestled in an inconspicuous neighborhood just south of UNM’s Main Campus.
If you’re not one to try new things and hate change, well you need to break out of your shell and try some new stuff.
Everything I have had there is delicious — from its beef and lamb kabobs...to the tea...and the absolutely fire “Banana Milk.”
It’s not really a place that has the best interior design or the most welcoming as far as how it looks. But the food — oh, man, the food — makes up in full for it. Honestly, I can’t recommend it enough.
If you are one who likes to take pictures for Snapchat or Instagram of cool-looking dishes, well you’re in luck. Oh, and did I mention it’s delicious?
When I go, I usually get a pot of the Persian black tea. It is served with a bowl of sugar cubes that just..wow....makes me feel like the coolest person on Earth.
Matthew Narvaiz is a senior sports reporter for the Daily Lobo. He primarily covers men’s and women’s basketball and baseball. The views in this column are his own. He can be contacted at sports@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @matt_narvaiz.
