Multimedia

Satire

McCringleberry and Shower-Handle among many football recruits

Rodney Prunty | March 30

The University of New Mexico Lobos football team had a very busy offseason, recruiting many players to help the program get to a national championship this upcoming season. Among the new recruiting class, four players stand out: Hingle McCringleberry, Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar, The Player Formerly Known As Mousecop and Davion Shower-Handle. All four players have incredible accolades, with their most notable being playing in the East/West bowl.  McCringleberry comes to the Lobos after playing for the Hazelton School of Design and Professional Football Rhinos. 

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Satire

Lobo Lift to start offering piggyback rides

Jaden McKelvey-Francis | March 30

A new way to get around campus has arrived for University of New Mexico students. The Lobo Lift program, which offers rides in golf carts for students around campus, has expanded to offer piggyback rides, available by calling the Lobo Lift hotline. The program consists of a fleet of over 50 so-called “human vehicles” available from 4 a.m. to 7 a.m. After the piggybackers are dispatched and arrive at a user’s location, they simply input their destination and hop on.  “Human vehicles” must complete an extensive training course that includes running a five-minute mile while carrying 6.3572 cinder blocks, holding their breath for 15 minutes in a tank filled with carp and carrying a 0.31 GPA.

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Satire

Deyton Albury’s ‘glasses’ revealed to be alien symbiote, fused to face

Elliott Wood | March 30

Last week, researchers from the University of New Mexico’s sports medicine department and the United States Central Intelligence Agency announced they had designated Lobo men’s basketball guard Deyton Albury’s glasses an “extraterrestrial artifact” and “threat to humanity.”  Albury, a senior who transferred last season from Utah State University, has been wearing the “glasses” since suffering an eye injury before the end of the regular season. UNM students and staff tell the Daily Lobo that Albury has been seen wearing the glasses constantly, including at La Posada Dining Hall, more than one dimly-lit party off-campus and even to bed, where sources say he has been heard murmuring in various languages while he sleeps. 

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Satire

Lobo Louie revealed to be just a dude in a suit

Jaden McKelvey-Francis | March 30

In a shocking turn of events at a University of New Mexico Lobo basketball game, beloved mascot Lobo Louie was revealed to be just a man inside of a large wolf costume. Tragedy unfolded. During the game, while Louie was cheering from the sidelines, an errant shot hit Louie, knocking his head off his body to the dismay of the crowd. The blow revealed Louie to simply be a man dressed up in a costume instead of the live wolf he was belived to be. This event caused surprise and outcry across the campus as students felt betrayed by the ruse.

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Satire

Trojan Horses and gladiator skirts: Lobo football’s new offensive strategy

Maria Fernandez | March 30

At a press conference on Wednesday, April 1, University of New Mexico Lobo football Head Coach Lobo Louie announced the team will be implementing a new offensive strategy at the beginning of next season: a Trojan Horse.  The Trojan Horse will be known as the “Trojan Lobo,” and the program hopes the figure will become a beloved part of Lobo football history. Student fees for athletics will be raised by $200 per person to pay for the 50-foot wooden horse with the head of a Lobo. 

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Satire

Football coach Jason Eck and basketball coach Eric Olen swap sports

Alex Joe | March 30

After seeing the University of New Mexico Lobo men’s basketball team miss March Madness, the football Head Coach Jason Eck and basketball Head Coach Eric Olen made the decision to swap sports. UNM Director of Athletics Ryan Berryman said the change could bring a new era in Lobo sports, winning conference championships in both basketball and football. “We are always looking for ways to improve our athletics department. And at this point it’s like, whatever, go for it. If Eck thinks we can coach basketball better, let him try. Olen wants to do football? Sure,” Berryman said. “If a ‘Freaky Friday’ body swap is what we need, then let’s do it. We have the budget.”

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Satire

New invention, loud disco to replace silent lights

Camillo Cretara | March 30

This week at the University of New Mexico, Chairman Seymour Butz of UNM Planning and Events made a revolutionary change to how the University parties. In theme with all the recent renovations on campus, the events’ vanguard began working on a new way to appease the UNM student body and the ever-evolving trends that students love to stay up to date on. The idea they’ve come up with: Loud Disco. “No one’s ever done this!” Butz said. “When my father, Seymour Butz the first, came to UNM and was in this same position, he had come up with the idea of the silent disco which had taken the world by storm.”

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Satire

WALKWAYS CLOSED: UNM pulls weed from soil

Addison Fulton | March 30

Another major construction project is beginning at the University of New Mexico causing major upheaval to the University ecosystem. In addition to the work on the Center for Collaborative Arts and Technology and the demolition of the old Humanities building to begin on a new one, UNM announced another project and associated road closure due to a small weed found growing through a walkway.  According to UNM Facilities Services, the plant is common crabgrass — its scientific name being “Digitaria sanguinalis” — a harmless garden weed found throughout the Southwest. However, due to the weed’s tendency to spread, the entire section of campus between Dane Smith and Johnson Gym will be closed to pedestrian and vehicle traffic until the weed removal is complete

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Satire

OPINION: Rating best crying spots on campus

Maria Fernandez | March 30

At the Daily Lobo, we often publish stories on the best places to study, grab coffee or a bite to eat near the University of New Mexico campus, but we don’t typically discuss where to have a good cry. As a person who’s cried in a lot of places on campus, here’s the best and worst places to have a good sob fest. Whether you’re a solo crier, prefer a group sobbing session or a quiet crier, there’s something for you.  Centennial Library individual study spaces: 8/10 We’re starting strong with the underground Centennial Science and Engineering Library, where the lowest floor has individual study rooms with barely enough room for one person — two could fit if you’ve got a crying buddy. 

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Satire

Crafternoon offers nuclear reactor building

Addison Fulton | March 30

On Wednesday, April 1, the University of New Mexico hosted a Crafternoon where students built their very own nuclear reactors. The event provided tools and materials for participants to build a fusion or fission core, including lead-lined protective suits, confinement shells, tubing and water for cooling. Students snacked on carrots and hummus and sipped little cans of Diet Pepsi while handling radioactive uranium and plutonium.  Ima Lyre, UNM fine arts freshman, said she attended the event out of morbid curiosity and a desire to explore something new. The event was a good way to unwind with friends and connect with new people, she said.

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Sports

Isotopes unveil new concessions ahead of opening day

Marley Herndon | March 27

A new year means new concessions for the Albuquerque Isotopes with five entrées and a dessert.  All of these concessions and more will be available to eat in time for the home opener on Tuesday, March 31 against the Reno Aces.  The Farm Team Isotopes Executive Chef Jim Griego is bringing a new sandwich called “The Farm Team,” featuring layers of crispy fried chicken cutlet, roasted turkey and smokey duck bacon with brie spread, raspberry jam and lettuce served on an onion roll. Griego is a proud fan of legendary football coach and broadcaster John Madden, paying homage to Madden and his iconic dish, the turducken, he said. 

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Sports

Men’s basketball: Lobos stop the revolutionaries, advance to NIT quarterfinals.

Alex Joe | March 24

The University of New Mexico Lobo men’s basketball team was back at The Pit after an impressive showing in round one of the National Invitation Tournament against the Sam Houston Bearkats, and looked to build on that performance in round 2 at home versus the George Washington University Revolutionaries. It was a tight game in the beginning, but the Lobos would go on a 13-6 run to lead 20-12 early. The Revolutionaries scored 5 unanswered points, cutting the deficit to 3 points before dunks by Lobo forward Antonio Chol, and guard Uriah Tenette.

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Opinion

LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Honor our active duty troops

March 23

While it might be quaint to give space to a letter writer like Thomas Abeyta (“No American Heroes Died in Kuwait”) — this non-teen (he stated a year 2000 birth year) ought to be far far less idealistic and frankly completely ignorant by age 25-26! Of course the first seven killed in this war are indeed heroes! They served and served with honor and this is completely distinct from your beliefs on the War in Iran itself — no different than the two World Wars or the Korean and Vietnam Wars nor the two Iraq Wars nor the Afghanistan War etc!

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News

Tuition increase fails at Regents meeting

Shin Thant Hlaing | March 23

On Tuesday, March 17, the University of New Mexico Board of Regents contemplated using student facility fees to close a gap in funding required to complete several ongoing infrastructure projects, namely the construction of the new humanities building The proposed fee increase  would be accomplished using a $30 increase to the facility fee, and a $30 decrease to the mandatory student fee. However, the Lottery and Opportunity Scholarships do not cover expenses that are associated with capital, such as facility fees. 34,000 students in New Mexico receive financial assistance through the Opportunity Scholarship, and 10,000 students received Lottery scholarships during the spring semester of 2025, according to Source NM. 

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News

UNM Law school under scrutiny over administration’s actions

Paloma Chapa | March 23

Multiple University of New Mexico law students say they have lost trust in the UNM Law School administration, with 14 law student organizations signing an open letter urging the Provost and Board of Regents to decline to “recommend the renewal” of Law School Dean Camille Carey’s contract. Some students’ concerns with the administration include lack of local student representation, unstable faculty retention, retaliatory and inconsistent practices and failing to protect students and ensure accountability in cases of sexual misconduct, the letter reads.   The letter comes after Carey spoke before the New Mexico House Judiciary Committee on Jan. 21, where she testified on a number of issues, some of which were brought forth to the committee by students and faculty. 

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News

GPSA Presidential candidate: Travis Broadhurst

Elliott Wood | March 23

The incumbent GPSA President Travis Broadhurst, having previously served as sustainability director and director of boards, commissions and elections, is running again for president (ballot #2). While president, Broadhurst reinstituted the Parking and Transportation Services Advisory Committee — with representatives from the graduate, undergraduate, faculty, staff and athletics communities among others — which provides feedback and input on parking and transportation matters around campus, he said.  Broadhurst led an initiative, in collaboration with the UNM School of Medicine Dental Hygiene Clinic, to subsidize the cost of dental cleanings for graduate students who may no longer fall under their parents’ insurance. 

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News

GPSA Presidential candidate: Marisa Page

Jaden McKelvey-Francis | March 23

The University of New Mexico’s Graduate and Professional Student Association will be holding elections for president, council chair and considering nine constitutional amendments. Voting will take place from 9:00 a.m. on Monday, March 23, through 5:00 p.m. on Friday, March 27. There are two candidates for GPSA president and one candidate for council chair. To view the amendments, candidates and cast your ballot, go to gpsa.unm.edu. Marisa Page is a member of the GPSA council and on the legislative steering committee running for GPSA President (ballot #1). “I think that we need to build community at the University, and I think that people, especially grad students, need a safe space to be heard and seen,” Page said.

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Sports

Decade of Bradbury comes to a close for women’s basketball

Wyatt S. Padilla | March 23

The University of New Mexico will be looking for a new head coach for its women’s basketball program, as newly appointed Athletic Director Ryan Berryman made one of his first decisions as AD in parting ways with ten-year women’s basketball Head Coach Mike Bradbury.  Bradbury and Berryman had met previously to discuss the future of the women’s basketball program and a contract extension, which Berryman was unwilling to grant due to the program not meeting necessary expectations, leading to a buyout of his existing contract, according to a statement put out by Berryman.

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News

ASUNM Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates: Karis Daskalos and Alana Baca

Elliott Wood | March 23

In the upcoming elections for president and vice president of ASUNM, Student Special Events Executive Director Karis Daskalos (ballot #1) and Governmental Affairs Executive Director Alana Baca (ballot #1) are vying for each position, respectively. Daskalos is vice president of the UNM Panhellenic Council and a member of the Pi Beta Phi sorority. Baca is an early alum of the Chi Omega sorority.

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Culture

Documentary celebrates first southern Black woman to join Congress

Addison Fulton | March 23

Film enthusiasts, artists and advocates joined together to learn and take inspiration from Barbara Jordan, the nation’s first southern Black female Congressional representative. After her election, in 1972 to Texas’ 18th district, Jordan played a key role in the impeachment of then-President Richard Nixon. During her testimony she said of herself, “Today I am an inquisitor. And hyperbole would not be fictional and would not overstate the solemnness that I feel right now. My faith in the Constitution is whole; it is complete; it is total. And I am not going to sit here and be an idle spectator to the diminution, the subversion, the destruction, of the Constitution.”