You might think watching important sporting events can only be done within the confines of the lackluster residence you call home. In front of your miniscule television and on a couch you no doubt passed out on the night before, you watch whatever game the stations decide to broadcast - which, oddly enough, always turns out to be the Cincinnati Bengals vs. the Cleveland Browns.
Well sports fans, there is something to escape this Alcatraz. Xanadu awaits you in the establishments aptly named sports bars. These refuges from reality revolve around three things I and everyone else with an intelligence level above a rock would deem pertinent for spectating. Those three things are: beer, sports and food - definitely in that order.
Now, when it comes to sports bars in the 505, your options are rather copious. I unfortunately do not have the time or money to review all of them, so I narrowed down my critical analysis to three places that would suit any sports fan's fancy.
First on the list is Spectators Sports Bar and Grill. What Spectators lacks in atmosphere, it makes up for in food quality, quantity and price. Wednesday's special was 10 hot buffalo chicken wings for $2, and I can't imagine how they actually make money off that.
With 40 televisions, seven with the surface area of Bangladesh, you can watch anything from the latest cricket match to every NFL Sunday football game. Located at 5850 Eubank Blvd NE, you better hope you have a good designated driver to get you home safely.
Coaches Sports Grill, between Sycamore and Maple streets on Central, is a step above the rest in the food department. Inflation definitely hasn't set in here, and you are guaranteed to leave ready to play Rick Majerus's stunt double in the next ESPN made-for-television movie.
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Go during happy hour from 4:30-7 p.m. Monday through Friday for $1 drinks, and you can leave not remembering if your name is Rick Majerus or not. Coaches doesn't have the television population of Spectators, but it still blows watching those Bungle-Browns games out of the water.
Saggio's rounds out my list because of its proximity to us pizza-and-beer-craving college students. Although Saggio's can't hang when it comes to sheer pixel pervasiveness, it more than makes up for it in cultural diversity.
With slices of pizza that could put an end to world hunger and affordable beer to wash it all down, Saggio's welcomes a crowd of all demographics. Whether it be college students with a hankering for grease and grog, or homeless people like the guy who sat next to me and kept yelling "Kill 'em Cubbies" even though the Orioles and Cardinals were playing, you can just listen to the absurdities sports make rational people utter.
For the record, I joined my unsightly compatriot in rooting for the Cubs to beat, as my new friend so eloquently put it, "Whoever the hell they is a-playing because it don't matter to us Cubbies."
So there you have it - you can catch me watching the next Cubs game, whether they're playing or not.
