Phil Vs. Riley

by Riley Bauling

Daily Lobo

I'll be the first to say it. The Miami Dolphins were horrendous last year - appalling, atrocious, awful and a slew of other adjectives you could throw in.

But it was all part of the plan. The plan to get Ronnie "Touchdown" Brown. The plan to save a city, at least in terms of football. We all know about the Heat.

Newly hired head coach Nick Saban needs a running back more than anything. Actually, he needs just about every part of the offense other than a line. Have you seen the depth chart at quarterback?

A.J. Feeley has snagged the starting spot. First of all, how ludicrous does that sound? Second of all, watch out A.J., in case you slip up - which is likely - you've got that mad gunslinger Gus Frerotte vying for your spot. Can you imagine what it would be like to lose your starting spot to Gus freakin' Frerotte?

Here's what I'm holding out for: first and foremost, a return to pigskin by Ricky Williams. That would open up things significantly for the 'Phins to take Alex Smith instead of Brown - please, 49ers, trade the No. 1 - at No. 2, and leave me cheering, rather than jeering, Saban.

In a perfect world, Smith would be scuttling all over Pro Player Stadium next year with Williams to take his edge off. However, that world probably only exists in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, which is, last time I checked, closed for renovation.

So what happens if Williams keeps puffing like a chimney? Well, that's where I yell, plead, beg, kick, scream and implore Saban to take Smith anyway. I'll say it now, and years down the road when Rodgers is kicked out of the league for breaking a reporter's nose with a swift head-butt, I'll be right. Rodgers is the Ryan Leaf of this year's draft.

But once again, we don't live in that perfect world. Miami plans to take Brown with the second pick because it believes the team's issues at running back are a tad more glaring than the dynamic duo they have at quarterback. I'm not sure how the running back issue can be more glaring than having Frerotte or Feeley as the most integral part in your offense, but that's why I'm not a coach.

If the Dolphins take Brown with the second pick - he's the best all-around back in the draft - that leaves them with Feeley at quarterback still. Because that notion is totally absurd, Miami has to address the loss of David Boston at wide receiver, perhaps with a large whale, so Feeley at least has a chance of hitting something. As you may have noticed, there are no whales in this year's draft, so the Dolphins should take a receiver from a mid-major school with their next pick, which comes at the No. 70 spot.

No. 70, ouch.

So now after I've written this whole article, I just realized we are screwed. They don't have one pick between No. 2 and No. 70. It's over. Make like NAFTA and trade. Please, please trade.