To Britain in Burque style

This is a world of waves and I want it no other way.

My time in America is over soon, and I must return to my old life, which is sometimes difficult to remember. I have learned many things during my year here - not about fashion at all - but lots of other things, which I do not have a mandate nor a desire to discuss.

I do not know whether my time here has been spent well. I am saddened every day to see people still wearing pajamas on campus. A tear of irrelevance falls upon my steadily aging face every time I witness this fashion and social crime.

The high fade still seems to be the hairstyle of misguided choice, incidentally proving that the majority should not rule. If people do not know what looks good on them, how can they know what is good for them? I still do not live a day without seeing those backward Boston Red Sox hats, and I cannot articulate what it is about this phenomenon that annoys me so much. I think it is the underdog philosophy that America seems to cherish so dearly. America always supports the underdog in sports, but in international relations it is the biggest, baddest and richest bully since the sun finally set on the British empire.

All I knew of New Mexico before my arrival was granted to me by Sergio Leone's excellent spaghetti westerns, filmed in Italy, but set in the inspiring Southwest.

I came here like Clint Eastwood's character - a man with no name. To honor this, I will leave dressed as the character I so admire, in my Trilby hat and poncho. When I arrive in London, back to my heart, I will undoubtedly get some strange looks dressed as an outlaw. I may well get mugged, probably strip-searched, and I will certainly get laughed at.

But my darlings, that is the fashion choice each person must make - will you be a brave innovator or will you fit in and be anonymous?

I hope I have helped draw the lines in the sand. I hope I have begun something here in New Mexico - a movement against bad robotic fashion. If I were to die tomorrow I hope I made a small but important difference. If I ever come back to this place in the future - although unlikely because I did not fill out my tax forms - I will look at the beautiful landscape and remember what I tried to do here.

Goodbye America, I love you and hate you equally. I realize my quest to understand you was impossible. You have some of the most beautiful people I have met and some of the most disgusting people. The way you encompass all spectrums is the essence of your overriding charm. I shall now return to stagnant stability. Until I see you again, peace and long life.