by John Bear
Daily Lobo
You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and when to - get back to work.
The New Mexico State Legislature is hard at work to bring us our very own state cowboy song. I can hardly contain my enthusiasm.
In addition to giving the talking heads on the evening news some mindless filler to bridge the gap between the latest troop casualty count and Dick Cheney's most recent gangster exploit, our politicos are wasting time and resources.
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Even if this took one hour and cost $5, it took too long and cost too much.
For example, I had the privilege of attending public school in New Mexico, and though I have destroyed most of my brain since that time with alcohol, highly dangerous drugs and college, I distinctly remember an absence of books in the classroom. The money used for our state cowboy song may have purchased one book. Throw one book in a classroom here and I guarantee the children will look like a bunch of primates dancing around the monolith.
But that probably won't happen. Instead we are faced with cowboy songs and the never-ending attempt to end chicken fighting. I hope they fail at putting the brakes on that lovely sport. For one, there will be massive chicken unemployment which will leave the streets flooded with angry warrior chickens. In addition to being delicious, chickens have a long and proud history of being warriors. Don't take that away from them. That and people in rural New Mexico will have nothing to gamble over.
Wasted time and resources aside, do we really need a cowboy song? First of all, the entire world hates Americans because they perceive us as a bunch of cowboys. The cowboy image has been hijacked by eastern establishment goons like George W. Bush, and Dick Cheney is hard at work claiming the title of gunslinger general. The original idea has been lost in translation. Sorry.
Secondly, we don't really have cowboys anymore. We have giant industrial cow farms and plenty of Mexicans hard at work inside them. Ideally, we need a "thank you Mexicans" song.
Speaking of Mexicans and Latinos in general, the official state cowboy song, "New Mexico" invokes the word vaquero - Spanish for cowboy - not once, not twice, but not at all. It's New Mexico. Where are all my vaqueros at?
But if we must have a state cowboy song - and forgive me if I get a little loose with the concept here - I have some better ideas.
"The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers is an ideal choice. We have 8 million casinos and no money. "Sunday Morning Coming Down" written by Kris Kristofferson and performed by Johnny Cash would probably strike a sweet note with all those alcoholics and tweakers. We have a horrible underage drinking problem. Ask my neighbors. "Chug-a-Lug" by Roger Miller tells the tale of young boys getting bombed at a 4-H meeting.
Think about it, and get back to me.
