by Riley Bauling
Daily Lobo
Let me just come right out and say that I love Adam Morrison's mustache. Love it.
Does it look like he has to comb it over to make it cover all of his upper lip? Of course. Does it resemble the Not-So-Very-Hungry Caterpillar? Without a doubt.
Does he probably spread gobs of Rogaine all over it to keep it from literally falling off mid-fadeaway jumper? Duh.
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Do you look at it and recall the "Beavis and Butthead" episode where they cut out pieces of their hair, glued those to their faces to look like they had beards, and then went to pick up chicks at the mall? Well, I do.
But through all the pedophile references he's had to endure, he's still rocking it.
That to me shows he's fearless. I don't care if he went for 5-of-17 against Indiana. Dude still took 17 shots and they won by 10 points. Fearless, I tell you.
And that's why I like Gonzaga over UCLA and that high-pitched squealing, greased-up hair, horrid tattoo-sporting guard they have in Jordan Farmar. That guy deserves to be hit by a car. No, strike that, he needs to be hit by a garbage truck. Repeatedly.
I've never disliked someone more. He takes errant shots as he's falling out of bounds, yelling at his coach and trying to wink at a girl in the stands all simultaneously. He's the type of guy I could see being arrested for DUI after drinking six Mike's Hard Lemonades and then begging the cops to let him wear his nonprescription glasses while flexing with his shirt off for the mug shot. And then he'll put the picture on Myspace for "all the ladies." His words, not mine.
I'll even take Gonzaga to the Final Four out of that region. The No. 1 seed, Memphis, graduates 0.3 players per year, and to see them win would literally be the end of college basketball.
I'll take Texas, UConn and Villanova as my other Final Four teams. Villanova will beat UConn because the Wildcats have Allan Ray. He's the guy who had someone's entire hand up to the elbow jammed into his eye in the Big East Tournament.
By the way, how is that guy seeing anything right now? It looked as if whoever poked him touched his occipital lobe. Or what if he did end up losing the eye, Villanova kept the press from knowing, and he had one inserted that allows him to see out of it with only crosshairs so he can perfectly line up each and every shot? If it hasn't happened already, someone needs to alert Villanova about this. There's got to be a wacky optometrist willing to do the surgery.
UConn's the best team in the tournament, but it plays uninspired basketball. UConn's coach constantly looks like he's suffering from the worst bout of acid indigestion since Lardo McFat on "Dumb and Dumber" after eating hot peppers that Harry and Lloyd surreptitiously put on his hamburger.
Call me crazy, but foaming at the mouth, bulging out of the collar of your shirt and wiping sweat off your face with your tie just doesn't scream NCAA Tournament Champion to me.
Texas will top Gonzaga in the other game to set up a Texas-Villanova shootout.
Texas doubles up with the NCAA basketball and football titles this year and ex-Texas quarterback Vince Young falls even further off his pedestal.
I can see him growling at cars right now.
