What have I learned since the beginning of the holiday season?
Well, first off, never tuck a gun into your sweatpants, especially if it is registered in one state and you're carrying it loaded in another state and walking down steps in a nightclub.
It just doesn't work out. Maybe wear a nice pair of slacks.
Come on, multimillionaires make enough money to wear a nice pair of slacks or jeans for a night out on the town. Just tuck your piece into your belt. Or better yet, buy a holster.
Another important fact I've learned: Once again, computers have taken over the world. Well, not yet, but certainly in the realm of college football.
In the Big 12 South, Texas beat Oklahoma; Texas Tech beat Texas; and finally Oklahoma beat Texas Tech. Magically, Oklahoma played in the Big 12 Championship game and easily defeated Missouri for the second straight year.
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After Saturday, most people, including myself, believed with 99.9 percent certainty that Florida would face Oklahoma. And on Sunday, that notion was realized - Florida and Oklahoma will indeed play for the National Championship.
But just thinking how confounding the BCS is makes me queasy. It was rumored on ESPN, the sports monopoly channel, that Texas could've jumped Florida in the polls and played Oklahoma again - this time for the National Championship.
I love college football, but I haven't been excited for the BCS bowl games ever since the 2006 Rose Bowl (Vince Young's comeback).
In fact, the only thing I remember about the last two BCS title games is Ohio State losing and losing badly. I can't even tell you who beat the Buckeyes.
I also have some Christmas wishes - one of which has already come true: My mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas the other day, and the only thing that came to mind was an 0-16 Detroit Lions team.
I should ask Matt Millen to dress up as Santa Claus for a department Christmas party.
I feel really - and I mean really - bad for Lions' fans. But to be honest, I would love to see Daunte Culpepper and Calvin Johnson pop some champagne with the '76 Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
If you don't know, the 1976 inaugural season for the Bucs ended 0-14.
Last but not least, the Arizona Cardinals will get a home playoff game for the first time since 1947 after beating the St. Louis Rams on Sunday.
The win over the Rams also clinches the NFC West for the Cardinals, and it is their first division title since 1976.
