Editor,
Here are five easy steps to resolving the football “problem” at UNM:
1. Dissolve the entire football program ASAP.
2. Convert the Lobo football stadium into a community garden.
3. The ex-football players might now be trained as agricultural technicians (farmers).
4. Create a new sense of teamwork for the ex-players whereby the goal of their efforts would now be to feed their opponents rather than send them to the hospital.
5. Encourage this model to go viral. Imagine the thousands and thousands of acres across the United States that could be converted from football fields to growing fields.
End note: Consider the inherent immorality and inhumanity of American football. Imagine football-farmers discovering something about themselves and their relationship to the land that, when nurtured, will result in a new generation of citizens deeply invested in community pride, civic duty and something that we might term “agri-patriotism.”
OK — now you can make the jokes about genetically modified pumpkins grown to resemble footballs.
Bryan Konefsky
UNM faculty
