Editor,
You know, everything was fine until Al Gore had to point out the whole climate-change thing, but now New York suddenly has a seven-month-long winter. The glaciers are melting, lowering salt content in the waters, and the atmospheric C02 level makes the ocean more acidic, with lower oxygen content, coastlines are going underwater, there are severe droughts and monsoons, and all the polar bears are dying of heatstroke in ice cap-cum-deserts.
We were all like Wile E. Coyote, running off the cliff and across the air. Then Al had to point out we were running on nothing, at which point we looked down and began our downward crash. As soon as we start looking at the climate, it starts doing all this crazy shit.
It follows that all we have to do is try to believe it isn’t happening, and it will all just stop. If we just pretend like all the shit we keep doing has no effect on the atmosphere, and if we tell everyone Al is just a stupid adulterer anyway, then everyone will stop thinking about this thing they’re probably perpetuating with their minds anyway.
Mind over matter. Reasoning skills over climate change.
Come on, dudes. We can do this. It’s like Buddha said: “You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself.”
You must become the not-climate-change you want to see, the non-climate change you want to be.
Yes we can.
Eva Avenue
Nightly Noodle Monthly Editor
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