Dear Bob Frank,
I’d like to thank you and the University of New Mexico for raising the salaries of teachers and staff, something that hasn’t happened for four years. I’d also like to thank you for the 15 percent raise in tuition and fees I will see next year, because it has really illuminated for me what a fine education I have received at your school. Typically, my initial response would have been to worry and spend sleepless nights staring at my ceiling, but now with the large amounts of intellect that have been drilled into my previously lacking mind, my reaction is to create, create, create.
My first order of business will be to take some fancy business classes at Anderson and learn how to run a successful cartel. Once that’s done, I will become the new, cuter Walter White and build a business empire selling drugs. The University’s motto, Lux Hominum Vita, translates to “Life, the Light of Men,” and in launching my business I will be cognizant of this and aim to assist my fellow students by offering them positions within said empire. My actions then will not only cover my tuition, but that of many others as well.
While the business is established, I suppose I can ask my Uncle Sam to lend me some tuition funds, even though he’s not doing so well these days and will want all the money back someday, with interest. Small matter though, and to pay special homage to the University, my signature product will be cherry red and silver, rather than Walter White’s boring blue. Thank you again for this opportunity to not only envision, but create something of such magnitude — without you none of this would have been possible.
Rosanna Cordova
UNM student
