Letter: Our way of life is not the only way

Editor,

I constantly collect wisdom every day in order to live it. We have much to learn from other cultures.

The native Tiruray people, who lived in the southern Philippines in the 1960s, enjoyed complete equality between men and women. Men were not above women, women were not above men – in any way. A spirit of harmony – no battles of men against women, no battles of women against men. Caring, non-violence, warmth, nurturing, sharing and empathy were not considered feminine qualities; they were human qualities – the right way for both men and women to be. Bravery, confidence, clear thinking, boldness in sex and boldness in conversation were not considered masculine qualities; they were human qualities – the right way for both men and women to be. Toughness, dominating others and taking advantage of others was not right for men or women. Men and women deeply understood and helped each other.

The Tiruray people were marvelously healthy, always vigorous and robust – no signs of mental illness of any kind.

The Babemba tribe of southern Africa lives as a closely connected family. When someone wrongs another, the offender is placed in the center of the village – alone, not chained. Everybody stops working. All gather around the offender. Then each person of all ages, one at a time, tells all the good things the person in the center did in his or her lifetime. Every experience, all good deeds, strengths and kindnesses are told carefully and in detail. Just the truth – no lies, no exaggerations.

This tribal ceremony can last several days – not stopping until everyone has said all the good things remembered about the offender. Then a joyous fiesta takes place and the offender is welcomed back into the tribe. These ceremonies are rarely needed. Instead of shaming and branding the offender as a no-good criminal, the tribe spends days making this person their main concern to heal and restore him or her.

This is infinitely better than most of the U.S. court and prison system. We all are more than the worst thing we ever did or almost did.

Sincerely,

Don Schrader

Daily Lobo reader