The University of New Mexico’s student-athletes have redefined what it means to excel by earning a historically high average GPA of 0.02 for the fall 2024 semester.
In what some are calling “academic innovation” and others are calling “a cry for help,” the UNM Athletics Department now holds the distinction of having the highest team GPA in school history — and possibly the country.
When asked about the stunning figure, UNM Athletics Director Joe Sport declined to comment. A spokesperson later clarified he was “still processing the math.”
Department members said the numerical jump is a groundbreaking achievement.
“Who needs A’s when you’ve got attitude?” academic advisor Pree Reckwisit asked.
According to internal sources, the 0.02 GPA was calculated using a formula involving missed assignments, unsubmitted Canvas quizzes and something called “vibe-based grading.” Several student athletes reportedly received extra credit for remembering their Wi-Fi password.
“This is next-level dedication,” football coach Lucy van Pelt said. “We told them to give it their all, and they gave absolutely nothing. That’s commitment.”
The men’s football team ended the semester with a GPA of 0.01, fueled by a bold new academic strategy that replaced studying with team-building naps. Meanwhile, women’s volleyball submitted all assignments in Comic Sans, earning the team originality points and an average GPA of 0.03 — the highest of any UNM team.
Students outside the athletics department reacted with confusion and awe.
“How do you even get such a GPA?” one biochemistry major asked. “Is that, like, quantum?”
Sport said he plans to “lean into the greatness.”
“We’re always striving for excellence,” Sport said. “This is a jump in the right direction.”
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Izabella Kubiak-Reseigh is a freelance reporter for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at sports@dailylobocom or on X @kubiakizabella
