Occasionally a movie comes along that makes you wonder who is in charge in Hollywood.
"Ragdoll," which came out in 1999, proves there is a Hollywood Illuminati and they hold us, the little people, in very low regard. In response we have a choice exclusive to the capitalistic process: 1) avoid it so it dissolves into bubbling pools of pain in hell or 2) turn it into a cult classic.
In the tradition of "Leprechaun in the Hood" "The Horrible Doctor Bones," and every lamentable installment of the "Puppet Master" series, comes "Ragdoll," a movie in the so-called "urban horror" genre, featuring a killer voodoo doll. Unfortunately, with the exception of "Bones," -- the one with Snoop Dogg, not at all affiliated with "The Horrible Doctor Bones" -- the urban horror genre tends to include movies that can only be swallowed in pure camp context and "Ragdoll" is no exception.
"Ragdoll," however, is almost so bad it won't receive that coveted seal of camp approval. The premise: Kwame, played by Russell Richardson, is a 17-year-old struggling hip-hop artist just starting to make it with his band "KT Bounce." He lives with his loving grandmother who happens to be a Voodoo-style witch. He has a beautiful girlfriend, the gorgeous Jennia Watson, in his band and everything appears to being going smooth as an agent introduces himself to help get the band on the radio.
This is all unfortunately shattered when a local crime lord, Big Pear, steps in to try to take control of Kwame's band. Kwame declines Big Pear's advances and makes a highly public rejection at one of his shows.
In retaliation, Big Pear puts Kwame's grandmother in the hospital and threatens to kill her unless he signs with Big Pear. In anger, Kwame conjures up the Shadowman to perform some "killing magic" on Big Pear and his notorious brothers.
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The catch he unwittingly accepts, however, is that for every death of Kwame's enemies, one of Kwame's loved ones would die. Shadowman then puts "killing magic" into a ragdoll who immediately comes to life. Thus, the carnage begins.
Usually urban horror films expertly blend the camp value of the "blaxplotation" films of the '70s and what I will term, "Really Awful Horror Premises," into a digestible movie experience. Unfortunately, "Ragdoll" falls short of this element and appears to take itself almost too seriously. It divides the movie into a crime melodrama, then horror -- kind of like a "From Dusk to Dawn" form concept but not performed consciously.
Some of the familiar archetypes of "Really Awful Horror Premises" are woefully absent. The authority figures partially swallow the story of the killer ragdoll, as opposed to becoming an added problem for our young, hopeful antagonists. If you are going to make a bad horror flick, stick to the formula. The cops must be slack-jawed yokels who endanger the protagonists every chance they get.
To the movie-makers credit, "Ragdoll" does follow some of the formula. The movie begins with a foreshadowing scene of horrific violence, the innocent-virgin archetype lives in the end because she doesn't have sex and the evil is not exactly vanquished, just tricked so that the plot is left open for a sequel.
One wonderful element in this flick was that the evil ragdoll looked horribly cheesy. You can even see the strings in one shot. This, along with its accompanying little evil ragdoll growl, suggests that perhaps the filmmakers weren't trying so much to terrify us, rather their goal was to make us giggle.
You can't fear this little monster -- it's so stupid it's kind of cute.
In an effort to bridge the gap between hip-hop and horror, the ragdoll even scratches on an LP before making its first kill. This is one of the only instances where the movie attempts to balance its seemingly despairing elements.
Tarell Poindexter, who played one of the criminal antagonists of the movie "Little Mickey," is excellent in this movie. As opposed to portraying the crimelord's henchman as a lumbering, masculine buffoon, Poindexter approaches the character from a flamboyant, effeminate angle, being "queeny" one minute and sinister the next. It doesn't really sound plausible but somehow, Poindexter made this work.
The real question is: Should time really forget this movie? The only Web site that mentions the movie that isn't attempting to directly promote it is www.horrormoviesthatsuck.com.
A quote from their review says, "Avoid at all costs! I'm serious!"
Frankly, if you want good urban horror rent, "Bones." If you want the stuff that's so bad it's good, rent "Leprechaun in the Hood."
